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This man was the center point for my main dream last night:



I had such a giant, adoring crush on the man. I moved through day to day, hoping that he would notice me. My self esteem was such that I knew that love would never happen, but I was beyond content with him even just knowing that I exist, CARING that I exist. I sat on the floor in someone's living room, and he sat next to me, making some quip. My heart soared with quiet happiness. Where we were sitting (wedged between the ottoman and something else), we were wedged in close together as I sat with a blanket wrapped around my waist. After that "day" in the dream, however, I would pass him far across the parking lot of the apartment complex or turn a corner right before he would have moved into sight behind me. We were constantly put into situations where he never saw me again, though I would come across him in the distance.

(Emotions from this dream gives me a nice lump in the throat.)

Later, The Mercury Tree was playing some venue with some old metal acts. Overkill (remember them, anyone? "Hello From the Gutter"?) opened, and Yngwie Malmsteen followed. Dio went on before us. I was nervous about the reception from the crowd, but gaeba assured me it would all be alright. She was quite the emotional anchor for me ;) She did freak out, though, when Kevin Griffin from Better Than Ezra ran off with her jacket on accident. I chased him down and gave him a greeting card and a piece of cake. He showed me his 24 ankle bracelets and sheepishly gave me back Sam's jacket.

I'm not even worthy of your kiss
Just you knowing I'm alive would be fine
Cuz insecurity's a very good friend of mine...

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