okay. i had an entire journal entry done, when my cat jumped up and landed on the keyboard, playing with my fingers as they were typing.. it lost everything. so let's start over.
yesterday started out with me going to
faetal's, (well, didn't START there, but that's all in the past now, lol! stupid buzzer boxes, anyhow.) where she and drew got my paladin to lvl 15 (woo! new cheesy spells!), and i gave the shortest guitar lesson ever (andrea: how do i read this? me: it's as if the fretboard is upside down and facing you. andrea: !!! wow! thanks! this opens up a whole new world!!).
i then went to pick updarkminstrel and secret_ninja, where we had some good mexican grub (i ate so much, i felt like i was still in food coma when i woke up this morning!) and saw Pirates of the Caribbean (MUCH better than i had thought it was going to be. definitely some LOL moments...)
then i got home and tried to go to sleep. it was about 230 am.
i could NOT for the life of me fall asleep.
mom kept talking to me, for one. i learned the hard way when i first moved in that it's NOT a good thing to try to tell her you're trying to sleep. as much as i love her, she can turn ANYTHING into a guilt trip. so i instead rewarded her with lots of 'hmm?', 'mmm!', and 'mmm hmm's', although i was teetering on the edge of deep, innocent slumber.
then i realized something else. mom was now snoring lightly. i was wide afuckingwake. this was SO not fair.
and the dreams.. lots of weird symbolic things.. i had a crush in my dreams, but i can't remember who my love interest was. one thing that was prominent in my dream, though, was the fact that everyone was trying to talk me into moving back to phoenix, and that i was seriously considering it. in my dream, i had posted a poll to you guys. so, out of curiosity...
yesterday started out with me going to
faetal's, (well, didn't START there, but that's all in the past now, lol! stupid buzzer boxes, anyhow.) where she and drew got my paladin to lvl 15 (woo! new cheesy spells!), and i gave the shortest guitar lesson ever (andrea: how do i read this? me: it's as if the fretboard is upside down and facing you. andrea: !!! wow! thanks! this opens up a whole new world!!).i then went to pick up
darkminstrel and secret_ninja, where we had some good mexican grub (i ate so much, i felt like i was still in food coma when i woke up this morning!) and saw Pirates of the Caribbean (MUCH better than i had thought it was going to be. definitely some LOL moments...)then i got home and tried to go to sleep. it was about 230 am.
i could NOT for the life of me fall asleep.
mom kept talking to me, for one. i learned the hard way when i first moved in that it's NOT a good thing to try to tell her you're trying to sleep. as much as i love her, she can turn ANYTHING into a guilt trip. so i instead rewarded her with lots of 'hmm?', 'mmm!', and 'mmm hmm's', although i was teetering on the edge of deep, innocent slumber.
then i realized something else. mom was now snoring lightly. i was wide afuckingwake. this was SO not fair.
and the dreams.. lots of weird symbolic things.. i had a crush in my dreams, but i can't remember who my love interest was. one thing that was prominent in my dream, though, was the fact that everyone was trying to talk me into moving back to phoenix, and that i was seriously considering it. in my dream, i had posted a poll to you guys. so, out of curiosity...
Do you think I should move back to Phoenix, Arizona?
yes
7(24.1%)
no
16(55.2%)
not a clue. who are you again?
6(20.7%)
Do you think my best option is to remain in Vancouver, Washington?
yes
11(37.9%)
no
10(34.5%)
i TOLD you, woman, i don't have a clue? why do you keep ASKING these questions?
8(27.6%)
which did you choose, and why?
Comments
I can't remember jack squat anymore hehe
but i don't think i could have appreciated where i am now, if i hadn't gone through it all. and i may even resent where i am now, had i gone from miss independent in phoenix to living with a roommate and then my brother, working retail, etc., instead of going from miss independent to massive codependent, sleeping on my mothers floor, etc.
i can't remember a lot of things, either, so don't worry bout it hun :)
I'm so glad I'm where I'm at now, however if I had jumped right into it from college, I probably would think I was settling since I wasn't in theater anymore. I thought I was going to be this actress or a writer..and it took so many experiences happening to realize I didn't want the job, I wanted the fame and attention. Once I learned I could get attention from those I loved, the desire to act and write for a living went way. and realistically speaking I could never handle the constructive criticism, I totally crumble on myself when I get it from friends. I'd be so depressed if I had to hear it from people day in and day out.
and i'm happy that you were able to look at things so objectively and realize what you really want to do, or. more importantly, what you didn't want to do that you thought you should.
that's one thing i've always LOOOOVEEED about our relationship together. even during times that we lose touch for awhile, we always come full circle and pick right back up where we left off. it's like we're destined to be friends :D