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weird stupid biological function post ahead...



okay. let's talk biological functions. we all have them. we all poop/pee/sweat/barf/droolinoursleep/haveboogers/ooze things from our orfices. my family has always been fairly open and honest in these discussions, quite usually at the dinner table. (afterbirth discussions at thanksgiving, anyone?!?) sometimes, i forget that some people don't like to openly discuss *covers mouth shyly and looks around* doodie *blushes* or feminine monthly curses and the consitency thereof (alhtough i find it honestly hilarious when i have discussions about it with boys, because each and every one has a different theory, from us bleeding only a thimbleful, to us 'holding it in' with a tampon and peeing it out everytime we go potty. but that's for a different post.)

biological function discussions bother me not. in fact, i find them quite entertaining at times.

having that said... ever gone poopie and looked in the toilet as you went to flush, and thought "holy freaking cow... THAT came out of ME?!? where the hell was i carrying it all?!?"

/end sharing


( 60 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jul. 24th, 2003 03:14 pm (UTC)
somewhere i have an LJ entry exclaiming that my poo was SO BIG it wrapped aorund the toilet

i love bodily functions

my bf is the same way thank god. we burp, poot and talk about peeing and pooing all the time
Aug. 12th, 2003 02:57 pm (UTC)
that's LOVELY. they make for the best conversations, they do!!!

i've heard soooooo much about you, woman, from all sorts of good people! i see we have a zillion things in common (well, not a ZILLION per se, but a few!), may i add you? ^_^
(no subject) - babytitmouse - Aug. 12th, 2003 03:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 12th, 2003 03:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - babytitmouse - Aug. 12th, 2003 03:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 24th, 2003 03:15 pm (UTC)

Aug. 12th, 2003 05:00 pm (UTC)
well,it has to come out, too, you know ^_^
Jul. 24th, 2003 03:26 pm (UTC)
One time at camp (no, not band camp and NO, there's no flute in this story, so don't get your hopes up) I took a HUGE shit. Of course, I waited for everyone to leave to do activities first to spare them the stink.

It was a big ol' wrap-around bastard. I flushed and left to do activities feeling MUCH better.

I come back and a girl goes in the potty, flushes, then goes, "Oh my God!"

Yep, it decided to back up.

We had to call the toilet wranglers (seriously, that was their title) to plunge. One of them came out and goes, "I can't BELIEVE that came outta one of y'all girls. Wooooo-weeee!"

I said nothing.
Jul. 24th, 2003 03:29 pm (UTC)

you know you're in for everyone's nastiest poo story on this post, right?
(no subject) - cynica - Jul. 24th, 2003 05:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 12th, 2003 05:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 12th, 2003 05:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 24th, 2003 03:34 pm (UTC)
OMG....I'm dying here.

I think I shall tell you the 'poop stick' story....

My husband and I were in Mexico staying at a friends grandparents house. My husband took a crap and came out and asked for a plunger or a poop stick or something. A POOP STICK!? To CUT the poop in half to allow it to flush. OH MY GOD... He seriously used a plastic knife to cut it!! He also took a picture of the poop with a friends camera!!
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:08 pm (UTC)
OMG!!!! how freaking hilarious!

i've had.. a couple of times.. where it wouldn't flush at first! ha! poop stick!
Jul. 24th, 2003 03:50 pm (UTC)
ALL THE TIME!! Or sometimes I will pee for almost a minute thinking "how did I fit into my pants with that much urine inside of me?"
Or at times I think "what the heck did I eat to get it to turn that color???"

Deep thoughts..
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:13 pm (UTC)
lmao! yes!

and then after either deed is done, whether it's a ton of pee or a gallon of poo (wait. switch those.), you would THINK you would weigh less on the scales, no?!?
Re: HAHAHAAHHA - talkingpotato - Aug. 12th, 2003 07:36 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: HAHAHAAHHA - aubkabob - Sep. 26th, 2003 01:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 24th, 2003 03:54 pm (UTC)
A story about my kid, so I don't have to talk about myself..

My youngest has trouble with pooping. But when he does..damn. His turds are bigger than mine, and he is 5. And boy do they stink.

K, that's it. Not as exciting as some.
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:14 pm (UTC)
lol - guess he just saves it all up to get rid of it all at once? like convenience? lol!
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:10 pm (UTC)
Teacher: "What is it, Susie?"
Me: "I have to go to the bathroom."
Teacher: "Why?"
Me (holding up a tampon): "Because I'm bleeding through my old one."
Teacher (spluttering): "Go....go! Just go."
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 12th, 2003 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Aug. 12th, 2003 05:15 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:14 pm (UTC)
I too have one of those families that has no issues talking about bodily functions...at the dinner table.

So yeah, just the other day in fact, I turned and looked at it and thought "Jeezus! That fucker is as big as my arm!!". I don't know where we keep it all. But I only go like twice a week, so they're bound to be ugly ones.
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:16 pm (UTC)
lol - saving it all to dump all at once, just for convenience :D

naw, i know that if you and i ever sit down to a meal, that the converstation is BOUND to be abnormal!! :D
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:18 pm (UTC)
lol! now that's something i can't even do in front of my FAMILY!! LOL! you would think that as much as i talk about it in here and stuff, that i would have NO qualms about doing it, but for some reason, actually DOING the deed of farting in front of others is horrifying for me!
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:18 pm (UTC)
Hm. Well, I can't say this is a topic I particularly like discussing.
That said, it's fascinating what that stuff can be comprised of sometimes.
Aug. 4th, 2003 08:18 pm (UTC)
*vigorous nod*

fascinating, indeed!
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:32 pm (UTC)
asian had a cookie monster birthday cake a few years back with very very blue icing... and i ate ALOT of it one evening and my poop came out blue.
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:21 pm (UTC)
LMAO!! i had a bday party when i turned like 5 or so, and my dad bought me a Holly Hobbie birthday cake, which had black frosting shoes.

yeah, we were a lovely bunch of psychotic sick looking kids after that party was over!
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:42 pm (UTC)
I have just the product for that!

Aug. 12th, 2003 05:34 pm (UTC)
Re: I have just the product for that!
that's.. an interesting.. product..
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:52 pm (UTC)
You're weird. I think I like you.
Bodily function discussion is not something I discuss alot. I personally dont have a problem with it, but I keep it to myself maily because I'm pretty sure there are not a lot of people out there who are comfortable with it.

And I have deffinately had things come out of me that I wonder how in the HELL they were in there in the first place. This happens espically during tummy viruses when its comming from both ends and i'm just praying, 'Sweet Jesus, just make it STOP.'
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:39 pm (UTC)
Re: You're weird. I think I like you.
no doubt. especially when the BURNING starts! ^_^

as far as biological function discussions, i notice that some people are squeamish about it. in SOME circumstances, i understand, i.e. a nice restaurant or when you're meeting the significant other's parental units and such, but as far as daily banter..

i guess it all depends upon the conversation, too.. i mean, if you're discussing, lessay.. the liberia civil war for example, it wouldn't do well to say "wow! that reminds me.. i had the worst misplaced booger the other night, but i was in public, with no chance to rid myself of it, and by the time i went to the bathroom, eGADS, the size of the thing! and it was so sharp, i'm surprised i didn't lose a thumb!"
Jul. 24th, 2003 04:53 pm (UTC)
i am also VERY amused by all kinds of bodily function talk! regarding poo, i don't ever wonder how all of it came out of me, i just wish i had someone here to show it off to sometimes!
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:42 pm (UTC)
that reminds me.. when my little brother, brosely was a little boy, and started actually poo-ing in the grown up potty, he used to poo very interesting.. shapes. like a fish. or a bird. or a bunny.
(no subject) - elysiangirl - Aug. 13th, 2003 06:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 19th, 2003 01:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 24th, 2003 05:00 pm (UTC)
that is freakin' hilarious.

about a year ago or more, there was me, a girl i liked and came close to dating, my good friend winston, this dude grant and his fiancee and two other chicks. and we were talking about girls and their periods and i thought it was fucking histerical.

the girl i almost dated barely even moved. no laughing no nothing. winston and grant were pissed because they thought it was gross. its funny how girls enjoy torturing guys sometimes. and its even more fun when it doesnt work on me because i grew up in a house with 3 women and no dudes.

i think women should do it more often. fuckin' a, we need more cool chicks like you guys in the world. carry on!

oh yeah, why the fuck does eating a bag of skittles make your crap green? is it the dye or what? freaks me out everytime.
Aug. 12th, 2003 05:47 pm (UTC)
Re: wow.
i think i would rather have my poo green than that garish bloody color of red!!! lol or purple! *faints*

yeah, i grew up having almost only guys as friends, so i got over being squeamish about biological functions and stuff REAL quick. not to mention my family. have you met my family? consider yourself blessed ;)

i used to bring up discussions about my period all the time to guys, which would make them squeamish, but it also helped to keep me entertained when i would hear what their version of it was! a thimbleful?!? we should BE so lucky!!
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