7 years ago at this instant, I was slouched on a greyhound bus somewhere in new mexico. all my worldly possessions were stuffed in two duffle bags below. my family had been 'split up' that summer, my mother being busted for selling crystal and facing a heavy prison sentence, and my brother being forced to stay with his father in hickville, missouri. my dream of living in the d.c. area had been bashed. i had lied to my father, telling him i was still employed at united airlines at dulles, so that he wouldn't be disappointed and give me a sound "i told you so." for taking the wrong job, for not taking that job in milwaukee with the freight train company. i had been out of the hospital for about 3 weeks, having been tossed in with no insurance, no visitors, for 3 days, almost dying of pneumonia.

1995 was the hardest year of my life.

7 years ago at this instant, i was watching the flat desert roll by, not looking forward to the lengthy layover in alberquerque, exhausted from a sleepless night, exausted from a difficult year. my one attempt at sleeping the night before, after the frightening layover in oklahoma city filled with homeless people chirping and screaming to themselves in corners, clad in soiled clothing, ended quickly after a hispanic guy across the aisle from me woke me up by trying to massage my inner thigh with his sock feet.

7 years ago this evening, i arrive in glendale, arizona, and call my friend to let him know i was finally here. i find he's at work for the evening, and his family knew nothing of my getting in that day.

7 years ago, about 2 days from now, finds me in a non-air conditioned car in 114 degree weather PLUS humidity, riding around trying to find a job. it also finds that although i have had 2 years business school, the only place that would hire me is burger king.

7 years ago this october or november finds me arguing with my only friend in phoenix, him leaving me the apartment, and me being truly alone in the city, contemplating leaving and running back up to washington state with my tail between my legs. it finds my obsessive ex manager from burger king moving in as a last effort, and doing creepy things like callign me from work and waking me up to let me know how peaceful i look when i innocently slumber.

7 years ago this new years eve week, finds a call from my father, letting me know my last living grandparent (really only my stepgrandmother) had died.

1995 was the most difficult year of my life.

Today is my 7 year anniversary for arriving in Phoenix. It also marks the longest i have lived in any state other than my birth planet, Iowa.