August 20th, 2002

disco star

a day in the life of peanut brittle

let's take a refresher course on what it's like to be me.

let's rewind to working in property management, shall we?

i remember one time, i was checking this guy in, taking his first rent, etc., an older gentleman. we were SUH-LAMMED that day, so nerves were frayed all over the office, not to mention the fact that there were a bizillion and one people in tne office.

i can't remember what it was i said, something like "can't" and "lock" or something like that, and merged the words together, and, in making fun of my inability to speak english, i laughed and repeated myself VERY loudly "HA HA HA! COCK! HA..oh..." the new resident didn't think it very humorous, not to mention the turned heads of people pissy enough from having to wait to pay rent.

another time (and you may need an in-person demonstration of this), i was working WAY over in order to move someone in that was a dickhead, anyway, and, in my usual customer service way of becoming chummy with the grouches, i was trying HARD to make him laugh (one chuckle, and they're MIIIIINE.) after many attempts, i realized my jokes were going nowhere, that he just wanted his freeping keys... at the end of the convo, i accidentally spouted out one more generic pun, realized what i did, and responded at the end with a laugh... but it was a resounding exclamation of air, like a low-pitched "huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...", like letting air squeal out of a balloon, but at very low frequencies. it was the most frightening sound i'd ever muttered, and Dickhead actually even leaned way back in his chair in surprise, trying to get away from me. i had done it halfway through standing up. D.H. and i stared and blinked at each other a few times, me still haunched over my desk. just... resounding silence, him staring at me in horror, me blinking back at him... i finally said in a quiet voice.. "let me get you your receipt and get you on your way, sir."