October 16th, 2002

disco star

(no subject)

*shrug* as for my "new" diet... i lived off of nothing but that stuff (meaning no sugar, no white flour, no sugar, no white rice, no pasta, no glazed foods, no bananas, pineapple, pears, or other sweet fruit, no potatos, corn, or carrots.)for a year and a half, so i'm fine with it. the only thing i'm not looking forward to again, is the following conversation:

"do you want a donut?"
"no thank you."
"aw cmon, are you on a diet?"
"no, i can't eat sugar."
"are you diabetic or something?"
"not exactly, i'm hypoglycemic."
"hypO or hypER?"
"hypo. i have low blood sugar."
"well, doesnt' that mean that you need more sugar?"
"*heavy sigh* no. if i eat anything with wheat or sugar in it or something too starchy, my system will kick out TOO much insulin, thusly dropping my blood sugar extremely low."

*sigh* in case you're not familiar with blood sugar levels, 'healthy' is considered a fasting blood sugar level of between about 80 and 130. my fasting blood sugar the day i had my glucose tolerance test was 59. after drinking their sugar water, it jumped to 110, then dropped to 49, where i almost passed out. when most diabetics get diagnosed, their blood sugar is at over 300 fasting.
disco star

(no subject)

i'm sitting here, merrily ignoring the rest of the world.

i'm starting to seriously think of not going on vaca, so that i can work and make money, instead of go and spend it. if i DON'T go, i'll lose the $200+ i paid for the trip, won't get to see my sandy eggo friends, won't be able to spend time topdeck at night clearing my head and soul searching.

on the other hand, if i stay, that's a whole weeks worth of pay i'll get (i have no vacation time left, so if i go, it's an entire unpaid week), will be able to make rent, will get commission, i won't have my booking stolen from me while i'm gone (i get it done when i'm here, so it certainly won't sway anyone from ganking EVERYTHING while i'm gone). i dunno if i would be able to get someone else to go in a week and a half's time that would room with matt. *sigh*

also, if i don't go on this vacation, it will be at LEAST april before i can even THINK about taking another one, and cruises are much more expensive then.

i just don't know what to do.

was i out of my head, was i out of my mind? how could i have ever been so blind?

I decided I can't go on the cruise. There is no way humanly possible, with not getting a week's pay ($600 not including commission, which i average about $300 a week) and make rent without becoming a prostitute. Under normal circumstances, i could, but not with the wage garnishment. i would be lucky to bring home $200 on that paycheck, certainly not enough for rent, let alone car payment (more than rent) or anything else.

so i'm home eating lunch after a good cry on my bedroom pillow.

now, to break the news to my friends and everyone i booked on the cruise. not that not having me along will prevent them from having a good time.

i freaking hate money.

there will be no cruise for aubrey until next year. no vacation until late next spring.

so, it looks like i'll be home. alone. for halloween this year.

bah humbug.

pardon me while i try not to sob in my malt-o-meal.
disco star

(no subject)

someone else is logged in as me, and i'm trying to call me so that me will know they're logged in as me instead of as them, but i'm not answering when i call me.

so i can't get my calls. and the only way they can find out who is logged in as me without me answering is to go to every single desk in the company (roughly 400 of them) and verify who's logged in as who.

*deep breath*

unless i decide to answer me when i call.