March 10th, 2003

disco star

feeling no pain feels good to me...

i've been quite.. reflective.. as of late. wondering why, if i don't like certain things in my life, why don't i change it?!? why DON'T i drop that 30 lbs i put on last year during my severe depression? why IS my apartment a pig sty? why HAVEN'T i worked on my songs that i started, and why has it been FOREVER since i finished a darn song?

i just wish that i could stop obsessing about boys. well, only a certain boy in particular. in fact, i'm making myself shut up about it now.

i've also... felt a more enticing urge to correct many things in my life. you only live once, etc. so i called into work today, and, other than a little nap, have been cleaning house. i'm listening to some old (i mean REALLY old) unsigned bands on tape, (jess, remember Blackboard Jungle? Honor Among Theives? Spider Junkies? Moodcrush? Love Pollution? *wistful sigh*) (which reminds me, there's technology to pass things on cassette to cd now, isn't there?!? my tapes are dying. and it makes me want to cry, cuz they're irreplaceable.) and i'm dying to eat healthy. alhtough there's no food in the house, and toast and cereal just didn't fill me up today. hm. maybe i'll wander out in a bit to grab something.

chris and brian had told me that i was coming over for a few nights in a row. i went over last night and played a couple of songs for them. may go tonight, will do so if they call. if not?!? *shrug* or maybe i'll get antsy and just GO. we'll see.

oh. and i haven't had ANY coffee since friday. go me.

"and i don't know when i became your concern
and i don't know if you'll ever change, nor ever learn
and i don't know if i've got the strength to make the set of tables turn...
...you turned me into your concern...
sometimes, i think i may be laughing too loud
i may be trying to hard to leave you
and sometime, i think, i may be doing too much for love

and i have waited all the seasons
i have twisted all the reasons
and i don't think i'll ever learn...
... how i became your concern..."
  • Current Music
    The Excentrics - Your Concern
disco star

(no subject)

this is where my bestest friends and i will be, celebrating my birthday, for anyone that wanted to know.

oh... ocean? here i come!! >:)
  • Current Music
    Madonna - Human Nature