March 13th, 2003

disco star

can i be like Yuna when i grow up?


Square soft is giving us not only Final Fantasy X-2, but also Final Fantasy XI, most likely both within a YEAR? (if release dates go as currently planned. you know how THAT goes. "yes. we'll definitely have it out for you by Summer 2002. *summer 2002 rolls around and they chuckle as they say* "2002?!? no no no. you mustve misheard. we said SPRING 2004! silly, silly public.")


am i the only one that feels like we're being spoiled in the FF realm this year?!??
  • Current Music
    Green Day - Basket Case
disco star

(no subject)


I've discovered that my email, and only MY email, gets read... every single inbound email, but no outbound, by my manager, Dana.

That's it. 401k withdrawal or no, i think i'm looking for a new job. i'm freaking sick of being babysat, etc. it wouldn't be so bad, if it was happening to EVERYONE, but it's just me. i'm the only one that gets monitored on email, on what websites i go to, what phone calls i make, and the only one that gets babysat so that i have to jump through hoops before i can even start my day.

i'm sick of it.

anyone hiring?!? i know that no matter where else i go, it's going to be a CONSIDERABLE paycut, but you know something? i don't give a flop anymore.

i'm cranky. "all i'm saying is that one of us may need a little nap."

and i'm not even half way through the day yet.
  • Current Music
    Phantom Planet - Somebody's Baby
disco star

cheesy poetry pulled out of me bum...beginning of a song? maybe.

all i wanted, was to make you happy
but you grunted and turned away
all i felt was to make you sing
but you said you weren't okay
sitting in your gloomy light
i wish i could make you feel alright
why can't you understand that i'm not a threat to your existence

stumbling blind, you act and mime
the motions of being an emotional
being sublime, a terrible time
of allowing yourself to feel at all

see me true
what i could have done for you
i gave you
every chance that you needed to be
young and wild and worry free
can't you see one and one ain't three
you were always terrible at twos.

in all seriousness, though
your fair headed blunder
was the source of my thunder
and then i realized that i needed you not at all

see me true
what i could have done for you
i gave you
every chance that you needed to fly
but instead you wish to cry
about how it's all done you wrong
like a sad, sad melody song
played on an out of tune instrument

i'm sorry
i'm so sorry that it had to be this way
i'm so sad to see it fall away
to see it tear, left unrepaired,
it won't do us any good at all.

all i wanted was to make you happy.
your loss.
  • Current Music
    Goo Goo Dolls - Big Machine
disco star

an open mic with the Vacant Stairs


we did our first ever performance in really real public tonight.


it was... quite like a trainwreck.

*i was nervous and kept screwing up on chords.
*my voice kept cracking.
*i forgot the words once.
*the bass wouldn't work, so we had no bass for the first song, and TONS of dead air between songs while the guy tried helping Laura fix it, so I had to keep the crowd occupied.
*The place we did it, Mill's End, is.. outside... on a major walkway near ASU, so it's frequented by many people in the evenings. There were folk sitting around, watching, wincing, ignoring, shaking their heads sadly. there were people walking by, looking over their shoulders with sneers as i would hit a wrong chord yet again.

on a positive note:

*Stace RAWKED on the trumpet, it sounded wonderful.
*the weather was PERFECT. can't get better temps outside than it was tonight. not hot, not chilly. perfect.
*the first performance is OUT OF THE WAY. now that i'm getting the feel of actually PERFORMING for people (karaoke so does not count, nor does a house party with friends and a half wasted band), i think i can handle this.

and i think i like it. :)

it only gets better from here. and i left tonight, feeling quite accomplished, that i was finally able to perform 'on stage' for the first time ever with my band.

  • Current Music
    Push Stars - A Little Drunk is Better than Dead