September 23rd, 2003

disco star

dream number one

last night, i dreamed i was dead.

i had been dead for a few days. in my dream, after you died, you roamed around. you didn't really FEEL dead, but you knew that you were dead. no one could see you, but you walked around freely in crowds, in buildings. i walked around, listening to conversations, hearing how people really felt about me. it was true limbo, because i had no feeling on the matter, was just an observer.

so, you walked around the living after you died.

until you were buried.

then you TRULY disappeared. the other dead could not tell me about what happens then, only that no one is EVER heard from again, so it was believed that it was true oblivion. no heaven. no hell. you just simply ceased to be.

i began to panic.

i drove my yellow vw bug back to my apartment (even in my dream, i was wondering why i was dead and driving.), and roamed around, looking at things that would be packed up soon. i hugged my cat (i could lift things, and my cats knew i was there), and sobbed. and sobbed. and sobbed. i didn't want to disappear completely. i apologized profusely to Shithead (a cat i had rl years ago), rocking him back and forth as i sobbed, sorry that i had left him behind.

i then wiped my tears and began to prepare for the funeral. the dead was required to attend their own funeral, which was the seance that would send them into the next plane of existence (which was nothingness.) regardless as to where you were at the time the funeral happened, you would be pulled to the funeral location. another dead told me about these little drops of color that, when let loose at the funeral, would provide a little display for those attending, to make them not feel so bad. it was a thing in the underworld, almost a litlte contest, if you will, as to who had the best funerals, who provided the best parties for the living.

everything in the dream was very grey and dreary (cept my dark brown panelling in my apartment), slushy snow covered the ground, adn there was mud everywhere from the melting snow.
disco star

dream number two

after i woke up to call in sick to work and went back to sleep...

i was visiting some small town with my brother. he kept running off and leaving me alone, which made me mad. i had no way to get home, afterall.

this scenery, much like the other dream, was covered in melting slushy snow and mud, and was very dreary.

i finally had to call faetal and antialias to come pick me up. joel was driving like a madman, and not compensating for the snow on the ground. we went out of control, and we slammed sideways into a pole. i got a very serious head injury from something i had hit on the inside of the car. as the paramedics were helpng me out, half dragging me, i see that someone that had been riding in the backseat with me had been thrown because they weren't wearing a seatbelt, and had been decapitated. because it was in 'olden times' in my dream, when it came to health care, they took the head and strapped it to a board to take it to the hospital to reattach it once the body arrived. (they left the body behind, because it was on its own to get to the hospital to get its head.)
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dream number three

kind of tied in with the previous dream...

since i couldn't get out of the small town, i got a job at their office max. it was cold, dreary, and overcast outside, as well as quite cold. i was afraid to go outside because it was colder than i had been used to.

in the break room, i find out that one of my old sandy eggo friends won a contest, where they could come to office max and pick out one thing that they had wanted. well, Si had shown up while i was on break or lunch or in the back for some reason, and as i raced back out front to see him, he had already left. i was completely crushed that he left without me saying hello to him, because being in a foreign place, i longed more than anything to see someone from my old life, to not feel so alienated anymore. i felt so completely... lost.

i remember finding out that after Si had come to get his 'prize', that it turned out that one of his coworkers was the one that actually got to pick it. after consorting with her other coworkers, she decided to drop Si's pay down to minimum wage for a month. everyone thought that was a hoot, and laughed it off.
disco star

as you can tell i'm home and bored...

Ahhh, the literary life...

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some winners:

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease (this one got extra credit).

Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

And, the pick of the literature:

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a%^&$le.
disco star

an actual post, not just dream ramblings or cut and pastes:

i'm sleepy today. i guess that's because i haven't injested nearly my daily quota on caffeine. but in order to do that, i would need to get up. which, since i have a bladder that is stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey (or would that be..? i dunno.), i have to get up anyway...

i actually have the home to myself for the first time in longer than i can remember! jess is out with some guy named Brandon, and my mom is at the food bank, getting 'supplies'. i'm celebrating by listening to music, and over lip synching to whatever i want to. why? cuz i CAN.

i'm also spending some of the time going through and updating aubreystar with old posts. so go check it out.

i also need to desperately work on getting caught up on friends lists and on replies and other emails and comics and and and... *gasps for air*

for a weird random statement: i miss having random sex on a couch.

aww, mom's home now. but that's okay, cuz she brought me cute boots and muffins!

I can still recall
The way you looked that fall
In your favorite dress
The day before you left
And since that time
I wrote a simple rhyme

And I miss you and the things you do
The time we had, the good and bad
The day we met that I can't forget
Signed Sincerely, Me
  • Current Music
    Better Than Ezra - Sincerely, Me
disco star

(no subject)

just out of curiosity:

does anyone remember when SR-71 used to be Honor Among Thieves?

anybody else remember other bands from the music scene out near Balti, like The Excentrics, Fraidy Cat, and the like?

Now that you're there
You're not scared
Why would you care
It's your dream
Not theirs
  • Current Music
    Our Lady Peace - Let You Down
disco star

(no subject)


something tells me that i'm not getting email responses for all my replies to my, uh.. replies. -_^

home sick, while everyone is out. i know they're mad at me for not going, but i keep getting mondo dizzy spells. i also think that a smoky noisy bar is not thee best place for someone with an ailing throat to be hanging out. plus i would SO want to try to sing, voice or no.

so here i sit, watching mom flip through the channels as i try to catch up a bit on my friends page, while cursing dial up connections and slow, full computers (i think i officially have approx. 100 mb of memory left! gah!)

hope everyone's evenings are going swell. well, as swell as can be expected, as i know that some of you are going through stressful times.


i press my tongue to the top of my mouth
cuz my jaw was tired from the thinking
and i press my toes to the end of the couch
cuz my back it was aching from sleeping..
  • Current Music
    Lisa Loeb - Alone