September 26th, 2003

disco star

(no subject)

WHY do they keep asking me if i want VIAGRA?!? wouldn't needing viagra constitute needing to have SEX? not only sex, but sex with someone who.. *cough* yeah?

almost every other freaking email i get either promises me the most economical Viagra ever created, or promises me a bigger penis now. does this penis come in a small box, to use at will? is it suggesting that my imaginary partner isn't satisfying me with his meaty whip? will i have to pay extra shipping and handling for this larger penis they are going to send me? how on earth would i hide it from my family? and would i have to FEED it?

is this Bigger Penis Now that they're wanting to sell me, is it in reference to whatever size penis i have now? since i am a female, and i also do not have a beau, would that be a two inch penis? because THAT would certainly be bigger than the penis i have now. since i have zero penis now, would they just send me a little novelty keychain with the rubber phallic symbol that squirts goo when you squeeze it, much like those frightening little pigs that squoosh gelatinous poo when you squeeze their tummies that you see at checkout stands everywhere?

WHERE ARE MY DETAILS, MAN?!?
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