April 13th, 2005

disco star

Two years in retrospect...

two years ago, I had been dealing with the anxiety and crap going with a move-on-a-whim to a completely different state. One of thee most emotionally distraught times of my life, I tell you. It seemed like every little thing that could go wrong, did. I fell and hurt my hand. People that said they were coming over to help me never showed. I got my period, so I had horrendous cramps to deal with during the whole packing process. I had days to go through EIGHT YEARS of my life and decide what stayed and what went.

I ended up doing a 'first come, first serve' as to what I could fit into my Jeep. I remember looking around at my apartment after the fact and going 'holy crap, I needed that! But there's no room...', I.e. almost every thread of any professional attire I owned, and a lot of my clothing that I actually wore. My ENTIRE kitchen was left behind. Granted, I was going to get rid of the majority of it; however, there were a couple of mugs I had gotten as gifts that I had wanted to bring along. Part of me wishes fervently that I could go back and do the whole repacking thing over, since I now know what I will use and what I will not, and to relook at everything that was left behind. The other, larger, part of me is VERY happy that is all behind me and that I never have to deal with it again.

Wow. 2003 was such an emotional ride for me. So much happened. An emotional growth spurt, I suppose, in retrospect, but at the time I was going through all of it... Wow. The emotional anxiety and depression at giving up what I had spent eight years to build, on practically a whim. I was totally independent. I went from completely independent to sleeping on my mother's livingroom floor in a one-bedroom apartment with her and brosely, completely jobless. All the skills I had known from jobs before amounted to nothing: no one in the area wanted someone who was a travel agent, rock star, receptionist, property management, or anything else I had been. In trillions of resumes sent out to all sorts of establishments, I only got one job interview, and they gave that property management job to someone who was twice my age. Fine, whatever.

I remember saying at the end of 2002, which had been thee worst year of my life, that I knew that good things were coming. I told everyone who would listen that things were going to happen in 2003, that it was going to serve as a springboard for 2004, which is when everything truly wonderful would happen.

2005 is shaping up to be a good year so far *knocks on wood*... Mayhaps 2003 was the springboard to the 2004 flip and turn which will result in a 10.0 rewarding for a perfect dive into 2005?

Yes. You heard it. I admit it. I actually kinda like being 30.

But don't tell anyone.
disco star

other rememberances...

So the last post made me want to peek and see what was happening the other years...

2004? i was freaking out because I hadn't done my taxes. Or hadn't sent them. This made me freak out in real time, as I've finished my taxes, but they've been sitting folded on my desk, waiting for an envelope for THREE WEEKS. I COULD win an olympic medal for procrastination!

2002 found me in full swing of a party life in Phoenix. (there's a post about a crush that's friends only, so you will have to friend aubreystar to see it...) Ah, yes, the days I would go out and party every. freaking. night.