July 30th, 2005

nosepick

happy birthday, tefen!!!

heh, heh, yay for beer. sorry for random rampant text messages throughout the evening. i blame bud light and the horse he rode in on.

now? time for beddy bie.

LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU ALL.

and i can't stop using my nosepicking icon, cuz i just love it too durned much. plus, it's one of the VERY few pictures in existence with my hair THAT short where i wasn't blonde. rawk.

hopefully this evil sharp pain in my shoulder will be gone tomorrow. grr.

I can't invest my time
I've tried it all and I'm tired of trying
You think you've got it all figured out
And everything you think it's about...
  • Current Music
    sloan - if it feels good do it going through my head
disco star

(no subject)

story i meant to put down for MY personal records, regardless if it's a fantastic read or not.

i was hit by a swift change artist the other night! i was excited, because i thwarted him completely, and will most likely get a $20 reward for it.

a guy comes in and asks if we have glass cutters. um, no. *mentally adds glass cutters to list of odd things people actually go to an office supply store for, along with 2% milk, ziplock bags, and books on learning guitar* he shops around.

i can't remember what he bought, but his total came to $4.30. he paid me with a fifty, a quarter, and a nickel.

as i'm pulling his $46 change out of the till, he says "awwwwwwwwwww, maaaaaaaaan, i didn't mean to pay you with my fifty, can i buy it back from you?" i look at him and raise an eyebrow. (well, mentally, because i cannot do this RL. so instead of looking fantastically interested in a slightly evil way by raising a single eyebrow, i most likely looked like i had a sudden onslaught of constipation.) he says "just hand both to me, and i'll give you the small bills back to make $50."

I smile at him and shake myhead, take $46 out of my till, and hand it to him. he makes a show of counting up to $50, and hands it to me. i flip the money over and count it. "Um, there's only $48 here. You need to give me $2 more before i give you your $50 bill back."

He falls all over himself in apologies, and counts out two more dollars. After assuring i did now have $50, i handed him his bill. as i'm putting the $50 in my till, he starts talking really fast about different denominations of money. "oh, actually, do you have a $100 bill i can buy from you?" i point to the empty slot in my till that shows that i do not have a 100 at the moment and shake my head. ooh, how about 5 twenties? i would also like to buy five twenties from you, then." (he is saying all of this really fast and repetitively as i'm still putting the two twenties, the five, and five ones in my drawer). "you have fifty there, and here's another fify *hands me the $50 bill*.

this makes sense for a nanosecond, but then i look at him and shake my head. "ha ha, nooooooooo. that's the fifty dollar bill you bought from me with what i just put in my drawer. i can't give you any more change, i'm sorry." he apologizes profusely and races out the door, heading over to petsmart next door (he had admitted when he came in that he had just come from michaels). makes me wonder if he actually succeeded with anyone else at the other stores. knowing some of the people that i worked with, and some of the people that i work with in retail, ESPECIALLY if he hit them when they were even remotely busy and flustered, i'm sure that he did.

i guess everyone has to have hobbies.
disco star

theft rant

we've also received a VEEEEEEERRRY obviously fake $100 traveler's cheque. i felt bad for the new girl that took it, because she had never seen a traveler's cheque before, so she didn't know what to look at, whereas since i work in the cash office practically every day of my life, i could tell it was a phony from across the room. (i AM the paperwork queen. ha. i do more paperwork than the managers. and i so don't care, because there are not customers in the cash office.) we've also had every freaking tom, dick, and pathetic coming in to rip things off of the shelves (including $3500 of calculators that the loss prevention team at corporate said was a GREAT IDEA to put live on the floor. ha. showed THEM.) i generally try to not be... well... profiling when it comes to people in officemax, and try to give people the benefit of the doubt, regardless of if they're black, white, asian, poor, rich, whatnot. i grew up in a VERY poor family, as well as went through fantastic goth phases, and i remember people in stores looking at me like they wished i would leave, because i was OOOOBVIOUSLY there for no good reason, other than to rob them out of house and home and to stink up the air. i used to LOVE to go into places that were expensive and after getting glared at by all of the workers repeatedly, going up and buying something like money was no object. this didn't happen very often, however. i still cannot fathom spending more than $3 on lipgloss, for example, and spending $17 on a tube of lipgloss? pish.

anyhoo. i always try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they come into officemax, regardless as to who they are. i've seen coworkers see a black man come in with a do-rag and baggy clothing (wow, i sound old by saying that.), and instantly get on the radios, harping about how so and so needs EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE over in the software aisle, code ten, CODE TEN! the same with.. well, with running the risk of sounding snooty, there are just some people that automatically stick OUT in a place like officemax. even when i wasn't pinching pennies, i never shopped at officemax, because i could get the same thing WAY cheaper at target or wal*mart. men that look like they're one step above homeless, for example. missing almost all of their teeth and weighing in at 50 lbs soaking wet, with a nervous tick. when you come in, head STRAIGHT to the ink and toner section, then make a beeline for the bathroom... yeeeeah, we're gonna be on that like white on rice. if you nitpick with us about a $2 pack of pens and then hang out in the software aisle, manhandling our $400 boxes of stuff? yeeah, we're going to become your new best friend. if you come in with 4 friends and IMMEDATELY split up, each of you going to a different section of the store where our theft is high? consider us attached to your hips.

i see people come in all the time and almost IMMEDIATELY know they're up to no good. i feel like i've developed a sixth sense about it. for example, someone coming in on a 95 degree afternoon wearing a GIANT baggy winter coat.

although at times, i do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. the manager will call out for us to follow someone, and i'll talk to them, they'll be genuinely nice, and i'll tell management there's nothing to worry about. unfortunately, almost EVERY SINGLE TIME i do this, i see them wandering around with a $50 ink cartridge one minute in the opposite side of the store.... next minute they're leaving empty handed. crap.

i feel like i'm sounding like a racist, caste loving bitch. if that's how you see it, i'm sorry :( but CHEEZ. if you're going to steal from someone, at least be freaking intelligent about it. but seriously. stealing is WRONG. unless it's cable or internet porn. just kidding about the cable. ha. people don't think about consequences in the grand scheme of things. when you steal from us, not only do you make us look bad, but you also cause everyone's hours to be cut because they have to make up the money SOMEwhere. you cause us to be babysat by corporate because they feel that we can't wipe our own noses without assistance. you cause things like demotions... i got my keys and other priviledges taken away from me because our theft was so high over the last year, though i know that i had NOTHING to do with it, following everything by the book when it came to things like the change drawer and lock-up items. (the new loss prevention district manager said that they had to eliminate theft possibilities one by one until they found the culprit. i laughed when after my keys were taken away (and mary's) because we weren't officially managers, that they discovered that there WAS internal theft going on - camera boxes were empty in side lockup, and they certainly weren't on display anywhere... and i know that IIIII had nothing to do with it, and since it happened after the keys were taken back, it could only be one of the management team. hrm.)
disco star

the quiznos stalker story

oh, and another story of the creepy, then i shall stop updating for the day :)

first of all, this is my third back to school working for officemax. every single summer, we hire a plethora of new people that come in and basically annoy the HELL out of us for a month and a half until the Season is over and they go back to school. this year, however, i think we hit the freaking GOLD MINE of new people. i love every single one of them. they're all fun, witty, sweet, and fast learners. i sort of wish that i could trade one or two of the long-term people for abby and ken (who will be leaving for school in a month), and am happy that Hai is staying on after it's over. in all of the temporary workers hired for BTS or Christmas, i've always at LEAST found 2 or 3 of them that i wanted to strangle, and i would like to believe i can get along with just about anyone. okay, maybe only 1 or 2.

aaaaaaaaaaaaanyhoo. Abby and i were stuck up front cashiering together yesterday, although we were DEAD. (i've never seen it this slow during BTS, generally we're getting spanked with a wooden plank at this point and everyone's in tears. i blame officedepot for opening up nearby and sending out all those fabulous coupons. you jerks.) she yells across the terminals (we're at opposite ends)..

abby: "oh, i had forgotten to tell you, the manager at quiznos was asking about you."
aubrey: "..... QUIZNOS?"
abby: "yeah. i didn't catch his name, but he was telling everyone what to do, so he must have been a supervisor. he asked how you were and said he hadn't seen you in awhile."
aubrey: "..... QUIZNOS? what did he look like?"
abby: "mid twenties.. short... average looking."
aubrey: "..... QUIZNOS? i... haven't eaten there in over six months."
abby: "well, you must have made one hell of an impression, then. he was sad you hadn't been in."
aubrey: "um... when i DID go there, it was sporadically and i never talked to anyone, other than to order my sammich, tell them yes, i wanted a drink, inhale my lunch, and race back. i never talked to anyone other than that."
abby: "huh. you should start eating at Quiznos again."

in saying this to coworkers, i came across another one, Deb, who had experienced the same thing, first when she called in an order a month or so ago, whomever answered the phone asked "is this Aubrey?".. and another time she went in, a guy in his mid twenties said that he hadn't seen me in awhile and that he was hoping i would start coming back.

what the hell. i'm creeped out in a curious way. although i no longer eat bread, i should swing by and see if they do have something on their menu that i can digest, and see if i can find this mystery man.

it isn't one of you, is it?