October 25th, 2005

bucky scarf

(no subject)

sorry that i've been antisocial lately, online and in real life. i just need alone time for awhile, i guess. so if i haven't returned your calls, i assure you: it's me, not you. i go through periods of time now and again to where i feel like i don't want to really talk to anyone that i don't HAVE to, time to be introspective, time to readjust.

now is one of those times.

lots going on mentally, though i don't really feel like talking about it.

the foot was MUCH worse this morning, to where i could almost not walk at ALL. my dearest faetal says we're going to the free clinic tonight. i feel dumb about the whole thing, and angry. if i would have done something to honestly injure my foot enough to keep me out of work, sure, i could deal with that. but to just wake up and magically not be able to walk? not so nifty. it almost seems like i dislocated my big toe or something: i have zero range of movement and cannot put my foot flat on the floor, almost as if there's a ... something... in the way. oh yeah, and the weird pins and needles sensation in my big toe, too, and odd coloring of part of it? not good. but how on EARTH does one do something like that in their sleep and not realize it until waking?!?

there's a massive storm blowing outside. it's days like today that i so wish that i had a covered balcony. it's PERFECT for curling up in a dry place outside with a book. wind whipping through the trees, a rain of water and leaves blowing everywhere.

it's really beautiful.

and i still haven't done what i had wanted to this fall: go out into the woods and flop down underneath a canopy of brightly colored leaves and just BE.