March 3rd, 2006

happy nerd

My Family Feud post I wanted to give to you.

I remember watching Family Feud as a young lass growing up in the depths of Iowa. Not much to do in Iowa OTHER than television, you see. I loved game shows when I was a young girl.

I watched Family Feud today while on my lunch. I had so many ideas for a post floating around in my head at the hilarity of it all, but I can't think over Jessie's singing.

Yes, you read right, Jessie is singing. We got karaoke revolution. yes, yes, you can all start making reservations to come play at OUR house, because we have all the fun toys like KR, DDR, and a cotton candy machine. We also have a nifty cat that can give you a permanent souvenir for your visit. (read: scars.)

But I digress. So I'm watching this show during my lunch and I wonder, first of all, what they fed these families before they went on the air. IIII certainly wouldn't be THAT excited over winning ninety points. if it were ninety gaGILLION, then you may see a smirk (those of you who do not know me RL, I am the queen of apathy, which tends to drive you excitable people BONKERS.)

I was also greatly amused at some of the deeply thought out and group conversed responses to questions. "What do people do on a cruise?" "we're going to have to go with sightseeing to steal the points." Even the host (for those of you who haven't watched this show since the 70's, it is now Al from Home Improvement.) gets a bewildered look on his face and says "yes, yes, it's a big ship, I suppose you could do ... that." I think that my favorite part of the show was when the question was "what is the worst thing to be caught with in your car when pulled over by police!" and the guy yelled "I'M GOING TO SAY A PROSTITUTE FOR THE WIN!"

well, yes, they did win, although I would love to see the years of therapy needed after all of the children heard their dear old dad's response to the "what do you do on a cruise ship?" question, when he got a giant grin on his face and yelled "HAAAAVE SEEEEXXXXX.", drawing the words out into this devilish statement. I thought his daughter was one step above falling over from mortification.


While making tea, I thought I heard the host ask a question and say the name of the person he was talking to was Teal'c. I giggled as I thought about what his response would be...

Host: What is the worst thing to be caught with in your car when you are pulled over by a police officer, Teal'c?
Teal'c: Illegally commandered zatnikitel weapons.
Host: ... Zat... what?
Teal'c: *raises eybrow* indeeeed.

then the stargate nerd in me started thinking about what everyone else's response would be....

Host: What is the worst thing to be caught with in your car when you are pulled over by a police officer, Dr. Jackson?
Daniel: *blink blink* well, why would he be pulling me over?
Host: *blinks in return* well, it's a hypothetical question.
Daniel: I mean, don't you think that the reason why he would be pulling me over would be the most pertinent point in the entire situation? If he saw the corpse's hand laying outside of the trunk, for example, wouldn't he be just in his reasoning behind pulling me over? I think, at that point, that I would deserve just about whatever was given to me, regardless as to what he found in the passenger seat, understand?
Host: ... so.. dead body is your answer? (note: this was the lowest true answer on the board, with underwear a step above it.)
Daniel: no, this question HAS no answer, don't you SEE? There is no way I could possibly answer this, as the officer's background, his CULTURE, lead him right up to the point in his life where he pulled me over.
Host: um....
Daniel: I'm sore-ey (cuz he's canadian, yanno.), but that is what I think, it is how i FEEEEL. Jack? Will you tell him.

*Jack does a double take*

Host: okay, then, moving right along... Carter... if you were pulled over by an officer of the law, what would be the worst possible thing that you could be caught with?
Carter: *gives giant description about alternate universes and existences and exactly how a car is built and WHY it runs*

Host: oookee. Jack?
Jack: well, for crying out loud... my answer is BEER, okay? Guiness. I want pie. I like pie.