July 6th, 2006

disco star

(no subject)

in my dream last night, luxperpetua had booked me a gig to sing for a school. i looked in horror at the music, as i can't sing/read music, but then realized that it was just Dar Williams' "Iowa", done as opera, and knew i would be okay.

on my way to the gig, i realized i was very pregnant. i hated the baby, at first, and wondered if there was any way i could get rid of it, as i hadn't planned for it, and would have to put my entire future on hold for it. i was instantly shocked at my thoughts, and realized that no matter what it would be (boy or girl), that i would love it dearly and make accommodations for it. afterall, being pregnant, while a nuisance and inconvenience, was now going to have to be my way of life. i mused as to whether i would have a little girl to play with faetal's baby, or if it would be a boy, and if our children would eventually wed. i hoped for a boy because of not having to deal with boys pawing around our door when she was a teen, but wishing for a girl, as they tend to be a bit less hyperactive. i thought all of this as i clambored up a hill with dead and dying grass to get to the summit for my concert. (which was, for you other EQ players, the building in Firiona Vie where they used to have the paladin/cleric spells.)

i was terrified to tell my parents, as i couldn't figure out for the life of me who the father was. in my dream, you see, sex didn't lead to becoming pregnant, but tight hugs did. therefore, i was uncertain as to whether the father of my child was dispossessed, or some boy from high school, or Kenny Rogers. i couldn't believe that i had become one of Those Girls who was, first of all, with child when i hadn't wanted to be, and secondly, irresponsible enough that i didn't know who the father was. why on earth was i hugging all those people, anyway?

there was also something in there about being terrified to tell my family that i was pregnant AND a lesbian.

this all floated around in my mind as i drank some red wine and settled down for a night, cuddling George Clooney. Hell, i was already pregnant, was was another cuddle by the fireside? besides, my friends would be SO jealous, and he had asked me for a slumber party, so who was i to be rude?


footnote: i think george clooney is aiight, i certainly wouldn't NOT kiss the man if he offered, but i just never found him EVER to be the recipient of my romantical fantasies in my dream.

footnote 2: since a lot of you seem to be curious on the fact, about the possibility of me being a lesbian...

hee hee. i'll leave you hanging on that one.

For I woke up from a nightmare that I could not stand to see,
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa and you were not thinking of me.
finger sniff

(no subject)

in talking to idioscosmos about bathroom etiquette and such, it reminded me of when i was getting a pap smear, all up in the stirrups, nekkid from the waist down, and:

- one time, my VERY gay doctor exclaimed "OH MY GAW. DR. MARTEN MARY JANES?!? how DID you find those? ooh, do you wear them with little anklets turned down with ruffles along the edges? that would be so CUTE! hey, jim, come check out this girl's mary janes!" (uh, can you pull down the tent there first, hun?)

- another time, a different doctor, upon discovering that i was a travel agent (at the time), wanted to discuss in depth the possibility of booking a cruise to Alaska. i'm sorry, i'm open, but not for business.

and, going back to the bathroom thing, he had mentioned small children and embarassment in the stalls, which reminded me of:

- one time, while working at michaels, i plopped down wearily on the toilet seat, relaxed, and started to go. i then noticed a pair of tiny spiderman sneakers sticking under my stall, and pointed in my direction. i followed the sneakers up the wall to see a giant eye staring at me through the crack between the stall. As i took a deep breath to say something, the mom yoinked him back from the crack, telling him it was rude and that he shouldn't do that. "but why not?" "because."

- another time, only a week or so later, i fluffed in the barnes & noble bathroom as i had started to tinkle. a little girl in the stall next to me with her mommy asked instantly "what was that?" "nothing, hun." "what was that noise?" "nothing! nevermind!" "but what WAS it?!?" i tried to curl in on myself and disappear as the mother tried frantically to NOT outright laugh and to get her daughter to drop the subject. the daughter, seeing her mother silently laughing, kept up on the questioning. in retrospect, i almost wish i would have yelled "I FARTED. IT WAS A FART, OKAY?"

i'm sure a lot of you that have been on my friends list for quite some time will remember reading these stories when they originally happened. i just wanted to share once again how my life is...