November 8th, 2006

raven bunny

(no subject)

stanieldaniel made me cry last night.

i dreamed that i had only one day left to live. i couldn't spend it with anyone, i had to say brisk goodbyes and go experience my last hours alone. i wasn't upset about dying - i had come to terms with it.

i had finished making a list or taking care of some sort of book work, and started up a street towards a park. the sun was setting. as i topped a rise that led to a dead end of a street, i saw that where the street ended were cement steps leading up to where i was. on these cement steps were a bunch of teddy bears, all facing the sunset. there was about a hundred of them, in all shapes and sizes, sitting on the steps as if on bleachers at a game. i realized that daniel had found every single teddy bear he possibly could by going everywhere and asking friends, so that i wouldn't have to watch my last sunset alone.

towards the far end of the steps was a driveway with more teddy bears, and a family was coming outside and becoming confused and slightly angry that someone had littered their driveway so. as they started removing them, i raced over and pleaded with them and sobbed for them to leave them there, just for awhile. i frantically tried to explain my circumstances to them through my tears to leave them, since daniel had gone through so much trouble to make sure i didn't die alone.

i woke up SOBBING. even retyping it now, i have a lump in my throat.
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