October 6th, 2008


(no subject)

Hee hee. Watching the old Wham! video made me look back at a couple of other Wham! songs.

The one that gets me every time is "Edge of Heaven".

This song has so many massive memories for me. It was popular on the radio when I was eleven. My family was renting a ginormous, beautiful, old house in Davenport, Iowa. We only lived there for about two months, but SO much happened during that time.

- I remember fearing the house, convinced that it was haunted. I would wake up in the middle of the night and swear that I saw ghosts flying at me or hovering near the ceiling, watching me sleep.
- I remember the side yard and back yard was covered in an ivy of sorts.
- There was a tree out front that was absolutely PERFECT for climbing. I spent the last of my summer vacation up in that tree.
- I got my first period. I was a woman!
- Two days later, I was molested by my mother's boyfriend, which led to...
- Trips to the police station to tell my story, investigators at the house, finger printing my window (where he climbed in in the middle of the night), and a nervous start to the sixth grade.
- One month at Jefferson Middle School (I think it was) where I was fascinated by the periodic tables and where a teacher read to us from The Lion, the Witch, and The Wardrobe.
- We were probably the poorest we ever were. I remember trips to various churches so that we could eat meals of macaroni and butter.
- Our house was BEYOND infested with millions of cockroaches. We bombed the house, but nothing helped. I remember changing bedrooms because of a combination of waking up in a cockroach infested bed and not feeling safe in my old bedroom after the Tim Incident.
- Mom split the upstairs and rented it out to two different couples: a youngish man and woman in one, and a gay male couple in the other. They were the first Gays I had ever really known. Mom also hung out with an extremely tall black man named Train. Both of these things helped to open my eyes - and heart - to the fact that there are different people out there. Growing up in TINY all-white, severely Christian towns in Iowa and Kansas had caused me to hear all sorts of negative things about both "types" - I remember coming to the realization that KINDS of people weren't bad, it was the individuals themselves that were good or evil, so to speak. Everything else was just silly to put much weight on.

I think of all of these things every time I hear this song.

I don't look back at the entire Davenport experience with any sadness or fear. It's a part of what happened to me, part of My Story.