June 12th, 2009


Ridin on the bus, Ridin on the bus, sitting next to bums, there's an open seat, hope that isn't pee

I left for work early today so that I would have enough time to swing by Target and get some allergy pills. My usual work shoes have worn down to the point that the bottoms are broken in half, my feet hurt horridly an hour into my shift, and I end up with gigantic holes in my socks by the end of the day. Because of this, I decided to try to wear the Dr. Martens I bought (new) for $10 back in Phoenix.

Part way into my walk to work, I remembered - painfully - that my feet have grown over the years. I ran out of room very swiftly. By the time I reached work, it felt as if my pinky toes were shredded to pieces and I was finding it difficult to walk. Well, crap. Money is tight and I didn't really want to invest in a new pair of shoes, especially since I know that I HAVE to buy new work pants before next payday, too.

I hate shopping. I HAAAATE SHOPPING. The only places I ever LIKE to shopping to are used book stores. Other than that, I abhor grocery shopping and absolutely refuse to to clothes shopping unless I'm completely out of lucrative options. I have a severe hatred for spending MONEY on such things. I don't know if it was my welfare upbringing (because my brother's the same way), but I cannot stand to pay more than $25 for a pair of shoes, or $20 for a pair of pants.

I get to Payless and - HUH? I get to buy $70 worth of shoes for $18? Two pair, both of which I can wear as work shoes (one absolutely so ugly and awkward looking that I just feel in love with them and both in men's shoes) that are normally $34.99 each. Both are on sale for $12, and the have a BOGO 1/2 off of ANYTHING.

I leave in a good mood and head to Target. What I snagged for a quick lunch (brat + soda) is usually $2.50 before tax, but it's on sale for half off! Yay! I drag my feet to pants and.. what is this? A pair that would work perfectly and amazingly in my size for $10?!!? I need allergy pills, which I believe are $6. .... only FOUR?!? ROCK!!! I look up and see a neti pot. I had been wanting to buy one, you see, but didn't want to invest the $35+ that I had been hearing they run for. Target sells one (albeit plastic, not porcelain) for $14? And it has a $2 off coupon attached to it?


So, instead of only getting a pair of pants and a pair of shoes for about $60 as I had planned, I scored two pairs of shoes, a pair of pants, a lunch, food for work for three days, a box of meal bars, a neti pot, a bottle of pretend Benedryl, and coffee for a month for the same price.

Now I see how shopping for bargains can be addicting.

Not to mention the sheer joy of taking my cramped, shredded feet out of my old shoes and sticking them into spacious, comfy new ones? HEAVEN.

Yanno that episode of Family Guy where Peter gets three wishes from a genie and his second one involves his own theme song? Where the music gets all happy as he's skipping down the sidewalk, gaily swinging shopping bags back and forth? That was so me.

I had planned on posting it here for you to see, but it seems impossible to find a clip on the nets.