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death becomes her...

i have been thinking a lot lately about death.

it all mainly started with ljers4eternity, which i read because of dbsquirrel. i felt very morbid, yet unable to turn away from reading the different testimonies and memorials, reading each of their last journal entries. a death in the twin towers. suicide. cancer. mysterious illnesses that started with something simple, like spider bites. lots of car accidents. some last entries were inane. some had completely friends only journals. some posted a poll or a quiz last. some posted about how excited they were to take that road trip they had planned so long for, the trip that ended up taking their lives.

it made me think about a lot of things. i mean, LJ things, as well as in real life. if i die while i'm still on LJ or any onlineness at all, i want everyone to know. i don't want anyone to be left thinking "hm. i wonder whatever happened to aubrey? i haven't heard from her in awhile..." i fear dying and not having every single one of my entries availabe to everyone who cares to read them. i fear leaving the world, and not leaving a mark.

i fear death, and having any of you feel that i didn't care for you. i care for you a lot. you have all touched my life more than you will ever know. never forget that.

never ever forget or doubt that i love you and am blessed for having you in my life.


Aug. 8th, 2003 04:48 pm (UTC)
That must be as thought provoking as it is depressing in some way.
I also hope that if anything happens to me that my folks would say something so that no one would think I was upset at them or something.
I guess the wierd thing is, if I ever went for more than a week without talking to anyone unfortunately it must mean I'd be dead! eeps!
Sep. 25th, 2003 11:14 pm (UTC)
Re: :-(
jess and i have exchanged passwords into all of our accounts so that should anything ever happen to us...
Sep. 26th, 2003 01:24 am (UTC)
Re: :-(
That's a good idea..


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