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you certainly meet some interesting people.

when i was waiting for my bus on the way to work yesterday, a woman sat next to me. she began griping about the bus being late. i stated that i was already late to work, and it was only my second day. she said something else, i said that i needed more coffee. the conversation then went like this:

Woman: i had some coffee this morning. then i just started.. COUGHING... and it was this deep cough, and once THAT started, i knew what was coming up next, so i ran to the bathroom, and sure enough, i threw up all of the coffee i had drank, and there was so much.. phlegm in it as well. i should know better than to drink coffee on an empty stomach, and there was so much snot and phlegm!...
Aubrey: well, THAT isn't good...
Woman: *goes off about phlegmy vomit and stuff as Aubrey starts looking around for the hidden cameras* and my COOCHIE hurts!
Aubrey: *scared* oh?
Woman: YES! it's just sad, cuz whenever i walk around, it hurts, when i sit down, it hurts...
*bus pulls up*

on the way HOME, two couples got on the bus, both about 20 years old, and one with two small children, the other with one little boy about 5 years old. i'm trying to watch them w/o looking like i'm outright staring....

Little Boy *turning to woman with two kids*: I'm a BOY TOY!
Woman starts laughing.
Little Boy's Father: yeah, he wants so badly to bed my older sister! ha ha! he keeps flirting with her and asking her to do it!!

*blink* yeeeah. that kids gonna be fun once he actually HITS puberty.

those conversations were just as much fun as one that my friend lori and i overheard in wendy's one day:

Mother: you know who your uncle will be once he gets married!?
Little Boy: MY DADDY!
Mother: *proudly* that's RIGHT!


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 21st, 2003 07:20 pm (UTC)
That kid's gonna have Brother-Cousins... and their progeny will prolly be missing their eye teeth... eeeeew...
Sep. 19th, 2003 12:40 pm (UTC)

i guess that's ONE way to weed out the human race: fill them with inbred freaks with the i.q. of a brick.. their 'smartness' will take care of themselves...
Aug. 21st, 2003 09:27 pm (UTC)
The conversation with the little boy claiming that he is a boy toy was funny...but the others were a bit on the disturbing side. >.<;
Sep. 28th, 2003 09:42 am (UTC)

as are the majority of the conversations i get drawn inadvertantly into on the bus.

egads, i can't wait until i get a car.
Aug. 21st, 2003 10:12 pm (UTC)
Vancouver, WA, or Vancouver, BC? If in Washington, I live in Spokane. I hope you have more fun than I do. :D
Sep. 28th, 2003 09:43 am (UTC)
vancouver washington :) thank you for knowing the difference ;)

in moving up here from phoenix, it took me MONTHS of telling them repeatedly that no, i'm not in canada, and no, i'm not in seattle, nor anywhere near it. i am in a suburb OF PORTLAND OREGON.
Aug. 21st, 2003 11:32 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's pretty... odd.

Did you forget to leave your weird magnet at home?
Sep. 23rd, 2003 04:31 pm (UTC)
i think it was implanted in my brain at birth...
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 24th, 2003 09:14 pm (UTC)
yes... i've also noticed that you begin to see the same people over and over, and come up with little nicknames for them, like Ghetto Girl, Flute Boy, and Signing Man.

haven't seen Cootchie Lady since that fateful day, though.
Aug. 22nd, 2003 09:33 am (UTC)
*LOL* that's very interesting about her phlegm and vomit...haha, I can't believe people would actually talk to a stranger about something like that. It's so funny thouugh.
Sep. 28th, 2003 09:46 am (UTC)
most of the people on the public transit system are far from "all there". its rare that you run into someone that isn't too poor to own a car and has forty children they can't take care of, handicapped, or a teenager.
Aug. 22nd, 2003 09:37 am (UTC)
the brother/daddy one? Most of my close guy friends have at one time or another gotten the title *uncle* stuck in front of thier names.

Cause, really, do you want the kid to go around saying "That's the guy my mom is sleeping with"? no. SO yeah, tack on the title Uncle. It's only bad when you end up marrying them...
Oct. 13th, 2003 12:53 pm (UTC)
aha. that's what had been explained to me, too, at the original time that it had happened.

me, i just thought mommy had lots of guy friends, even though she was married. :X
Aug. 22nd, 2003 01:35 pm (UTC)
Those're all great! Ah the delicacies of inbreeding :)
Sep. 22nd, 2003 12:18 pm (UTC)
oh, yes.

and the bus is chock full of them.

not to mention the amazing...smells.. that coat the insides of a bus when it's filled with unbathed, sweaty vancouverians.
Aug. 22nd, 2003 11:52 pm (UTC)
Drop the nukes NOW! We would all be better off..
Sep. 23rd, 2003 04:21 pm (UTC)

but knowing our luck, those would weed out all the smart ones.
Aug. 25th, 2003 11:34 pm (UTC)
phlegm-y vomit...
wow, that makes me feel a lot better about my misadventures on public transit.
Oct. 13th, 2003 02:09 pm (UTC)
mmmm... glad i could help you with that ;)
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )


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