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talk about your feminine emergencies..

you do not.. i repeat... do NOT.. understand what "uncomfortable sensation" means, until you are dressed in light khaki pants, running a register with a ton of people in line...

and you realize your tampon isn't giving you the protection it should anymore.

on the flipside:

if you are checking out at a register in a busy store.. and your cashier suddenly freezes for a moment, gets saucer eyes, and begins speeding up her speech and movements...

.. chances are, there's a good reason behind it...

ooh ooh ooh! and while we're on THAT subject (the cashiering, not the bleeding from certain orfices, i'll spare you boys..), i've discovered i have two main pet peeves:

1) please do not leave your merchandise in the freaking cart. i do not possess magical Go Go Gadget arms. if i did, i would use them for good. not evil (such as saving babies from burning trees, instead of running register for an evil empire of office suppliers.)

2) when the person in front of you has left or at least pushed their purchases further down the counter to get out of your way, this is your cue to scoot your stuff down to be in front of me. see this little display here? made of METAL? yeah. my arms are not made of those rubber bands you put so thoughtfully just out of my reach. thusly, i cannot reach around it easily and grab your things, fwipping them in front of me with amazing rubber bandy retractable action grip. yeah, my grunting and climbing over you to reach your stack of overpriced fabric bookcovers and pile-o-pens? that's a HINT. so stop pretending you are in the middle of filling out your check book (cuz we KNOW you're doodling and will not even BEGIN to fill out that worthless check until half an eternity AFTER i give you the total.. and you've argued over whether or not the "buy two, get one free" kicked in..) and WORK with me here!

but i'm not bitter.

Comments

( 49 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:46 pm (UTC)
mmmm.. your icon makes me crave sleeeep.
(Deleted comment)
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 11th, 2003 12:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
bono_macphisto
Sep. 10th, 2003 02:37 am (UTC)
and thus begins my journey into a world of feminine understanding i thought i'd never have to make..

i believe it was Oscar Wilde who once said 'Women are there to be loved, not to be understood.'

and it was me who said 'and as well as that, women put up with a lot that we don't give them credit for sometimes..'
inisfair
Sep. 10th, 2003 05:25 am (UTC)
Heh

Once, back in HS....

I took a field trip from NC to DC. In a van, and I was the only dude. At some point the conversation turned to feminine hygiene and I made the mistake of visibly cringing at the mention of a bloody tampon. 6 teenage girls, 2 adult female chaperons and me.

So for the next 3 hours, guess what they either talked about or found a way to mention gratuitously... Yeah.

I had a phobia of Tampons for the longest time, it finally got old and now it doesn't bother me, but I learned far more about that particular piece of the female hygiene process then I ever cared to know.

Women are CRUEL.
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 10th, 2003 09:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 10th, 2003 10:14 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 11th, 2003 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 11th, 2003 11:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 13th, 2003 08:02 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 18th, 2003 10:19 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 19th, 2003 03:03 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Nov. 17th, 2003 11:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Nov. 18th, 2003 02:58 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 10th, 2003 10:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - inisfair - Sep. 11th, 2003 01:50 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 11th, 2003 02:51 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 10th, 2003 10:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 11th, 2003 03:02 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 11th, 2003 12:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 13th, 2003 08:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 18th, 2003 10:17 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Sep. 19th, 2003 03:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Nov. 17th, 2003 11:42 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bono_macphisto - Nov. 18th, 2003 02:56 am (UTC) - Expand
dafadddu
Sep. 10th, 2003 05:05 am (UTC)
Oh boy.

After 2 years of depo and not having a monthly, I've finally stopped the fake hormones. Man, oh man, do I hate waking up in the morning and finding that my "feminine hygeine products" have failed to keep things clean, and instead my whole nether region is just covered in female icky shedding stuff. Blah.

I'm going to miss not having a period, but that's the tradeoff I have to make to get my sex drive back.
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:31 pm (UTC)
ICKY SHEDDING FEMALE STUFF! WOO!
i just had to say that's the funniest term i've heard for a period in a long time ;)

i was on depo and didn't have a period for almost 2 and a half years...

it DOES take a LOT of getting used to!
naivebunny
Sep. 10th, 2003 05:37 am (UTC)
you're entirely too altruistic, I'd use gadget arms to not have to beg other people to scratch me. ahhhhhhhhh....
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:20 pm (UTC)
i just slunked down in happy thoughts with that..

mmmm.. a self back scratcher.. that WORKS... *swoon*
ex_dogmeat720
Sep. 10th, 2003 05:43 am (UTC)
Retail is just too shitty. So why am I getting a secondary job in a game store? Oh, the money and the 30% discount.
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:19 pm (UTC)
yes.

my 25% discount at michaels makes it ALL worthwhile.

just as soon as i get enough money to actually SPEND there..
gingerdc9
Sep. 10th, 2003 06:03 am (UTC)
People suck.
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:18 pm (UTC)
yes.

but they make for good stories and whiny whinings to fellow coworkers ;)
(no subject) - gingerdc9 - Sep. 11th, 2003 05:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Sep. 11th, 2003 10:01 am (UTC) - Expand
childishdreams
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:04 am (UTC)
uncomfortable sensation=amniotic fluid leaking. At least I was in the hospital though...hahahahaha.
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:16 pm (UTC)
lol - certainly not an activity for kitchen floors! >_
sonatamoonlite
Sep. 10th, 2003 08:40 am (UTC)
Dude, you're cracking me up. You rock. :) *ROCKON*
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:15 pm (UTC)
i rock? no no no.. you ROLL.
hee hee.

something about stress just brings out the writer in me..

or the sarcasm.

not sure which.

lemme get back with you.
grailgirl
Sep. 10th, 2003 09:27 am (UTC)
People are stupid. This is simply a universal truth. I've only been working at Barnes and Noble for two weeks and I'm already starting to hate people (as i've said in my journal). I've even found coffee cups on book shelves! But I will keep working there. It's good money and I get a good discount. I'll just have to keep hoping that one day, only intelligent people will be allowed into bookstores. :)
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:12 pm (UTC)
yes.

there should be i.q. tests at the door.
liquidtime
Sep. 10th, 2003 12:47 pm (UTC)
*hugz* Oh girl! That sounds like a nightmare!
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 10:03 pm (UTC)
it makes for good stories, at least!
talkingpotato
Sep. 10th, 2003 04:15 pm (UTC)
LOL@people
I can't believe how some people don't use common sense, I actually HOLD my items until I get all the way up there with I'm at Michaels, I don't know why these dork people are making you stretch way over, that's their responsibility, until Michaels installs those nifty moving rubber counters that they have at grocery stores hehe
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2003 09:49 pm (UTC)
Re: LOL@people
office max is even worse, cuz the counter extends a bit more than at michaels, which gives them that much more opportunity to place things out of reach!
Re: LOL@people - talkingpotato - Sep. 11th, 2003 01:41 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: LOL@people - aubkabob - Sep. 11th, 2003 12:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: LOL@people - talkingpotato - Sep. 11th, 2003 03:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: LOL@people - aubkabob - Nov. 13th, 2003 09:47 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: LOL@people - talkingpotato - Nov. 13th, 2003 11:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 49 comments — Leave a comment )

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