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i always feel cheesy at the rush of.. cheesiness? when i listen to old hair metal.

for example.

on my mp3 thingie, a few minutes ago, came Fate's Warning. Shotgun Messiah just finished.

boy, do they bring back great memories. not great memories of how much aqua net i went through and how i had been convinced that wearing torn jeans with rocker cowboy boots, band shirts and flannel's were pristine fashion. and don't forget my john lennon sunglasses i donned for years. and my permed, copper hair. big bangs. yes. YES.

er, no. not fond memories of THAT. but what life was like. all these.. dreams and expectations that you have when you're 16/17. where you're still not sure if you want to graduate high school or not. (i didn't. at first. i came to my senses and went back and graduated in 94 instead of 93. not too bad.)

when i was 17, i was going through the motions of high school. i was EXTREMELY shy. i could not handle speaking in front of others, and the idea of having to group with someone for something in class was a sign of death for me. i would dress all in black and sit in the back of the class room, writing depressing short stories (i did win a contest for short stories with one about a girl that had always been physically and sexually abused by her father.. her father killed her brother, she ran away, he followed her, she killed him, then killed herself, writing the words "FREE" in her own blood on the windshield.), doodling, and doing my paperwork. i would get talks from teachers, telling me that they believed in me, in my intelligence, and why couldn't i apply myself more?

my best friends at the time were denise (who now has two kids and a husband up in longview), joe (who is now flaming gay, living in dallas, and running the eastern division of an entire hotel/resort chain), pat (who is now married with child, and MISERABLE, living down in phoenix), and carmen (......). i would provide the house each fri and sat, they would provide the money. give mom the money, she would buy us beer. she would keep the excess and go to the bar, thusly freeing up the house for a party.

i drank more between the ages of 15 and 18, than i think i have drunk between 18 and 28 combined. multiplied by two. by three. by fifteen.

i had penpals. did any of you do friendship books/slams? i had over 100 pen pals. it was like lj on paper. we had labels with our favorite bands on them, much like we have icons here. i still talk to one of them, nicole. odd that out of so many over those years, i have contact with only one. though i do occasionally get a Christmas card from another one.

i was convinced that i was going to be in a band. a bass player, cuz i certainly couldn't SING. and i DEFINITELY did NOT want to be the center of attention. i needed to create music, but was more than willing to stand in the back and plunk along at a bass.

i dated a lot more then, too. oddly, being as shy as i was.. looking back, other than Chad, most of them were a case of 'so and so likes me? okay, let's DATE!' i enjoyed being able to say i had a boyfriend, though i didn't really.. have FEELINGS for any of them. in my adult life.. i can't remember the last time i've been on a date. (wait, was it cheap bastard? could that be construed as a date?) *thinks* maybe it was clint (my last boyfriend)'s and my first date? the day after thanksgiving? almost TWO YEARS ago? egads, time flies.

i did a ton of promoting for unsigned bands. but i've already told you about that.

huh. i had planned on this being just a quick, silly entry about listening to old hair bands, and look what its turned into ;)

and Sara thinks she's died here once before
she's crazy
a pop-up book of flowers from grade 4
are driving her insane


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 17th, 2003 10:17 pm (UTC)
Re: whoa!
lol - in rereading my post here, it makes me want to go back to my recent post and uncross out the 'makes hasty decisions regarding partners'!! lol! that's the way i USED to be, but as an adult....

very very much different!
Sep. 15th, 2003 02:52 am (UTC)
see, i kinda missed that but you're only 4 years older than me so i didn't miss it by much! i remember the hair metal days as being a bit scary at first till i realised that these crazy-looking guys were actually making good songs (hearing them on the radio eased me into it better than seeing the videos!).

my mum and i were into ZZ Top, Aerosmith, Guns 'n' Roses, Kiss, all that sorta stuff, plus bands like DUran Duran and more British stuff, and it got me started on the road to my current rockerdom.

hopes and dreams from back then? heck, i didn't know what i wanted to be. still don't, really, unless you count 'rock star.' i think back then the only things on my mind were surviving school till the summer and making sure i had enough time to play computer games..

so in reality, not much has changed!
Sep. 18th, 2003 10:33 pm (UTC)
it's funny, because when i was listening to the beastie boys and the bangles, my mom was listening to whitesnake, dokken, def leppard, etc...

so it's my mom's fault, as well as raisin's that i got into metal ;)

i remember being 12, our moms buying us wine coolers (brandi is 2 years older than me, so that woulda made her 14), and her and i sitting up and watching headbangers ball ;)
Sep. 19th, 2003 02:50 am (UTC)
headbanger's ball! aww i used to love that..

when i was younger (about 8 to 10 yrs old, so same time as you'd have been watching), i used to go on holiday to Sweden a lot with my parents. the chairman of my dad's work owned a flat there, so he'd let my family stay there for a few weeks of the year.

i used to love it because not only is Sweden a gorgeous country but we had satellite TV in the flat, back when it was brand new and you used to get American MTV instead of MTV:UK. as a result i got to watch videos of all the cool metal bands that didn't play in the UK. it was brill!
Nov. 17th, 2003 11:29 pm (UTC)
mmm! and then i came across that site tonight that had all those wonderful 'where the hell U been?' interviews and such! i remember, there used to be a much better website YEARS ago, that had them all flat out listed (the bands) and what they were all up to now! if my website skills were a bit better, i may just start one of my own!

maybe i'll do that once i get out on my own again and am hooked up to cable internet! i know that it's going to change the way i do a LOT of things online!
Nov. 18th, 2003 03:00 am (UTC)
mm-hmm. my band biog page at the band website is going to have links to all the stuff I like so I can introduce people to Invader Zim and other oddness..

oo! Zim out on DVD in Spring 'o4!!
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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