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home from spending entirely too much money.

bought the messenger bag, instead of the backpack. bought two pins so that it wouldn't look naked on its way home: one of Gir taking his doggay suit off, one of Snoopy kicking Lucy. bought 4 lipsticks and 2 eyeshadows on clearance at Sally's: 49 cents each, and buy one/get one free. bought Excedrin to help me through the long day tomorrow, and coffee filters and creamer. spent too much money on chinese food.

i'm tired and emotionally drained, as is my brother probably. still no news from the step mother in regards to how he is doing, but in this case, i'm assuming that no news is good news.

i'm telling both jobs as i go into them tomorrow what the situation is, and that if my family calls at all, that i HAVE to take the call, regardless where i'm at or what i'm doing, and that if it's a call for the worse, that i will certainly be leaving early.

it's. weird. i mean, Ray is so much younger than my mom and my real father, so i never thought in a million years that we would be going through this with him first.

jess and i were talking about a possible funeral. neither he nor i know how we would find the money to get to missouri for a funeral. but there would be no choice. i would never forgive myself if i didn't go.

but that's jumping ahead. we don't know anything yet, and... i dunno.

i'm just.. tired.

and i so don't want to work 15 hours tomorrow, especially because i have zero transportation to get home. i'm getting off after the bus stops running, and no one i work with works in this direction, and mom's boyfriend no longer has a car. part of me wishes i could be here all day to sit by the phone and wait for more news, but that certainly wouldn't be constructive. it will give me something to do to keep my mind off things.

but i'll worry about that when it gets here.

mom wants to chat and be chipper and such. i don't. i don't feel like gabbing much. i need to bathe and go to bed.

and i had very.. interesting and disturbing dreams last night. maybe i'll record them in my sullen monotone before i go to bed tonight, and before they leave my memory..

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
jaddziadax
Sep. 29th, 2003 09:27 pm (UTC)
*hugs* i hope he is ok!
aubkabob
Oct. 2nd, 2003 01:00 pm (UTC)
thank you, my dear.
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Oct. 2nd, 2003 12:53 pm (UTC)
yeah, it sucks having to ask coworkers that i'm not really even friends with to bring me home, or at least halfway or 3/4 of the way.
faetal
Sep. 29th, 2003 11:19 pm (UTC)
Aubs, I am working 2-6pm tomorrow night,
I sorta want to go to the bar, and go earlish, but if you get ahold of me I can take you home.. though if i get you I'd sorta like you to accompany me to the bar :P maybe? consider it?
try to leave me a message.
aubkabob
Sep. 30th, 2003 06:07 am (UTC)
actually, jess and i were discussing this... i will SO go to the bar with you (i had promised you anyway, right? ^_^) i'll be massively tired, but that's okay ;) nothing a beer or two couldn't help!

i need a drink, anyway...

i'll also leave you a message on yahoo, just in case...
bit_o_jane
Sep. 30th, 2003 05:56 am (UTC)
nothing I say will make the ache in your chest go away, so

just ::hugs::

I'm sending good thoughts and energy your way.

and his.
aubkabob
Oct. 2nd, 2003 12:45 pm (UTC)
thank you, my dear :) he's doing much better, so i'm assuming all those positive thoughts and prayers are helping :)
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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