mom: don't lock the door
male, whispering voice: what? why?
mom: don't lock the door!
male, whispering voice: what? why not?
i'm thinking "what the HELL is a someone doing in our living room when we're sleeping? omg, are we SAFE? ARE WE GOING TO DIIIE?" as panic starts pricking at my sleepingness, but not enough to yoink me completely awake yet.
mom: don't lock the door, jessie's coming home!
male, whispering voice: *pause* mom, this IS jessie.
my mother talks in her sleep, laughs in her sleep (quite frequently), cries in her sleep (thankfully, less frequently), and partakes in other things in her sleep as well. i remember waking up in the middle of the night one time, with this high pitched squeal, not unlike what comes out of a balloon when you pull the mouth tightly, that began getting louder and louder, and then turned into a flat out scream. i seriously thought she was dying, but she was having a dream that there was tape over her mouth and she was trying to yell for help. i guess she has nightmares like this almost every night, where people are chasing her, or killing her or one of us, or planning to. i wish i could make these go away so that she could sleep better.
the most disturbing, though, was when i was sitting here on the computer and she said "mmmmmmmm, ooh, do that again!" with a sly smile.
usually, whatever she says, though, is completely random and odd, and i can never remember it when she wakes up.
i'm sleepy, and getting ready for bed, which is probably a good thing, seeing as how my alarm is going off in like 5 hours. since it's tuesday, it automatically means that i'm working both jobs. for joy. actually, this week, i'm savoring working both jobs only two days (tuesday and friday), because i know that starting about next week, when michael's hours change for the holidays, i shall be working many more hours there and have to be there at 7 am, and as we become busier at Office Max, i shall be nudged back up to full time there, and leaving much later.
i'm beginning to believe that by the end of the holiday season, i shall be ready to slit my wrists and crawl into a quiet corner to silently bleed to death.
not really. but i do need new shoes.
i have a zillion things to tell you guys, but don't want to cramp it into one gigantos post. but i WILL try to be around a bit more often, seeing as i have a good computer that is faster and such.
and now as my mommy tells me that i HAVE TO GO TO BED NOW, i shall do so.
i hope that everything goes through and i am moved out in about 3 weeks. i was thinking (read: moping) today, and i think i figured out that one of thee biggest reasons i have been feeling down lately, is that i've had ZERO alone time, other than maybe 2 hours once every 2 or 3 months, in SEVEN MONTHS. i have seriously had the apartment to myself only twice since moving here, and i'm thinking that the being around people... constantly... for seven months.. without any... quiet.. time... even.. people around.. when i sleep...
yeah, i think it's starting to take its toll.
miss all of you very much. i hope that all is well.