Ticklebuddy Wonderpoo (aubkabob) wrote,
Ticklebuddy Wonderpoo

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*laughs one ass off*

for those of you who are familiar at all with my family, or even for those of you who know nothing about my family.. i get home and read this on brosely's journal and laugh myself til i almost pee.

"my mom just told me the best story:

so when i was a baby, my mom bought a hampster for my sister named herbie. he was a good natured boy, very loveable, etc. one day my mom was sunbathing outside, and aubkabob came outside and asked if she could touch one of the pink things in herbie's cage. turns out, herbie was a girl!! mom put an ad in the paper for the little guys and they got rid of them all but one, that they decided to keep.

he was a MEAN little fucker! always snarling and biting my parents and aubrey. my mom used to get REALLY stoned with my dad and feed the hampsters speed and whiskey. she'd drop a tab of speed in the cage, and they'd run up and shove it into their cheecks. unfortunately, they wouldn't drink the whiskey out of the thimble my mom put in there, so she'd feed them peanut butter and crackers until they got thirsty enough to drink it. mom told me they'd be up for like 4 days on that little hampster wheel... "scree...scree...scree..." she also told me that she told my dad that she'd never give them speed again, lol.

so anyways, the mean little hampster got out of the cage one day and they couldnt find him ANYWHERE. it wasnt until they went to bed that night that they realized that it had got into the walls themselves. they could hear it running around and chewing on things. they didnt find him for months and it drove my parents INSANE. he chewed on everything in the house, ruining everything, and kept my parents up all night running inside the walls. they did everything to try and catch it from traps to surprises.

now, just a little more backround, the house next to ours was vacant and being sold. the day my parents caught the evil bastard, was they day the house next door was being shown to potential buyers. my dad had found the little fucker somewhere in the house and had finally caught it. he grabbed it and laughed with crazy glee and he ran outside with it. he took that little crazy hampster and THEW it as far as he could into a tree, screaming, "take that you little fucker!!!" the best part of the whole story is the couple who was interested in buying the place next door, who happened to be STANDING UNDERNEATH THE TREE. they stared as my dad threw a HAMPSTER into a TREE, which was right next to them, and screamed at it, calling it a little fucker!!

:wipes tears:

ok, so the story is really sad and it makes my family look nuts. but when my mom tells the story, i laughed till i cried. "


just got back from catching Return of the King with frobear. had much fun. :) cept the fact that the ending was ruined a bit for me because i had to pee. i mean, REALLY pee. so bad it hurt. but, dagnabbit, i was SO not getting up and missing the end! (and i didn't.)

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