so i decide to carry things upstairs that i moved in a long time ago, to kind of pick up the living room area (hey, the EQ servers went down for an emergency update, what's a girl to do?)
my first box, a heavy one, i SLAM my hand into the doorknob. the corner of the doorknob takes my hand RIGHT in the back of it and between tendons and bone. i almost drop the box completely, i curse softly. i can't move my hand for 5 min, and when i DO get movement back, it's shaky and jerky. it's swelling up a bit, but at least i have movement back, albeit painful.
i must eat something, i've decided.
and Junien is my friend. he's my eq big brother, i've decided.
ooh, that's a sexy little knot.
I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control...
my first box, a heavy one, i SLAM my hand into the doorknob. the corner of the doorknob takes my hand RIGHT in the back of it and between tendons and bone. i almost drop the box completely, i curse softly. i can't move my hand for 5 min, and when i DO get movement back, it's shaky and jerky. it's swelling up a bit, but at least i have movement back, albeit painful.
i must eat something, i've decided.
and Junien is my friend. he's my eq big brother, i've decided.
ooh, that's a sexy little knot.
I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know
I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control...
- Current Mood:ouchie
- Current Music:Styx - Mr. Roboto
Comments
a week ago, i miscalculated the distance between the hall and the wall, and my hand slamed into the entrance of our hallway... and then it swelled up, but it wasnt broken, just bruised ;)
even though the knot and red line are both gone, it still hurts. it makes me almost sad that i don't have this disgusting yellowing disappating bruise on the back of my hand ;)
until just now when i went to respond to it and i realize that i had put lyrics from "Mr. Roboto" at the end ;)
did i uh.. ever get around to doing that? *scritches head*
i'm feeling quite introverted lately (as if you couldn't tell!) which is why i keep.. not posting, and posting in the journals where only a couple few people will see them.
and i admire you for having the courage to see friendships as unhealthy for you and being able to act upon it. it took me YEARS to get that way with some people (i.e. leesa and her heavy drinking.)
I'm actually coming out of my shell a bit, but it's still a rather casual journal rather than..really deep. I'm trying to change that, but I don't think I'm ready quite yet. Sometimes I feel as though I place a burden on people when I talk about my bad days or about situations in my past that have hurt me. People say "oh it's ok, you can tell me" but it hurts so badly when I let down my guard and then get bitten so hard by thoughtless and hurtful words. I've had to accept the responsibility that I did place my burdens upon them without knowing the burdens they carried, thus there was the snappage of camel's backs, and eventual hurt feelings on both sides. I tend not to...learn about the other person like I should.
It's so hard to make decisions when you know the outcome is going to be painful..but sometimes unfortunately it's neccessary, and I've grown up enough and been through situations in which I screwed up or acted immaturely in response to things, that the best you can do is make peace, and give to all the respect and dignity which you would want given to you.
I've been spending most of 2006 just 'letting go.' Of forgiving, of moving on..wishing love, giving respect, and most importantly, doing what is the most healthy for me in the most mature way possible.
i promise to never make a knee jerk reaction and say anything harsh to you. at least, that's the plan, fran. ;)
i really don't know what to say otherwise in response to this response, but i do love how deep and open it is.
LOVE YOU!
GROUP HUG!