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omg.

went to bed last night with a VERY upset stomach after having ate my weight in Twizzlers(tm) for no good reason at the end of my shift (in all fairness, i shared with coworkers...)

had thee worst dreams... thee most emotional, horrible things on EARTH. i spent one half of my dream hanging out with someone that meant the world to me, thinking they felt the same... then to have them decide that they would be much happier with Elizabeth... all that after spilling my guts to them about how much i adored them, how long i had wanted to be with them, how much i cared for them.

just to have them say "well... i didn't know you felt that way. i'm not officially dating Elizabeth. but let me call her really quick - after talking to her, i can make my decision."

just to not come back himself, but to send a messenger saying 'i'm sorry, aubrey...."

i cried. i sobbed. i holed myself up.

my best friend Peyton called me on the phone to tell me he was in town, visiting his good friend Elizabeth. although i missed peyton oh so very much, i had to decline seeing him, because in my utter grief, i couldn't handle seeing them together. i knew it was the same Elizabeth, because the cell phone number on my caller i.d. was HIS number.

so i woke up all ... sad... and angry... for no reason. i woke up feeling.. lost... hurt... and most of all, completely rejected, like no one would want me, and if they did want me, it would be only if their first choice had said no.

i hate so very much how dreams can overshadow your emotion for the day.

Comments

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
infomage
Mar. 16th, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry... It’s odd how we can generate our own emotional shell shock out of almost nowhere. I have had some poignant dreams that resonated deeply; and the knowledge that it was “just” a dream doesn’t make it any easier. Especially when that dream causes you to revisit feelings and situations you had thought completely behind you and over.

aubkabob
Jul. 14th, 2004 08:30 am (UTC)
egads, i think that's the worst, when you're convinced that you have left an emotional hurdle behind you, haven't thought about it in AGES, just to have it suddenly surface for no reason in your dreams *violent shudder*. i had that happen recently regarding an ex of mine from almost 10 years ago.
infomage
Jul. 14th, 2004 03:43 pm (UTC)
I had that exact same experience, about the exact same situation a couple of weeks ago.
aubkabob
Sep. 9th, 2004 08:37 pm (UTC)
amazing how that works.
chappell
Mar. 16th, 2004 03:52 pm (UTC)
I promise to never leave you for anyone named Elizabeth.
aubkabob
Jul. 14th, 2004 08:28 am (UTC)
LOL thank you so much :)
cherub_bunny
Mar. 16th, 2004 04:13 pm (UTC)
that sounds like an awful dream. i'm sorry. *gives big hug*
inisfair
Mar. 17th, 2004 05:01 am (UTC)
Gah, I hate dreams like that. The last few years I'm doing pretty good to remember anything significant from my dreams anyway but normally when I do it's a doozie.
aubkabob
Jul. 14th, 2004 08:27 am (UTC)
i really need to start taking note of my dreams more often. i used to be really wonderful at dream interpretation, but i sort of fell out of practice, so i only remember the certain main things, i.e. that water signifies emotion (i used to have a habit of turning water into snow in dreams, so that instead of drowning in it, it would swirl around me harmlessly, showing lack of emotion), or houses signifying the self, with each room symbolizing different aspects of your subconscious.
inisfair
Jul. 26th, 2004 07:44 am (UTC)
My sister (
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My sister (<lj-user=reiven>) was and probably still is big on dream interpretation. She used to keep a dream journal to refine her skills.

I remember a common recuring theme in my dreams was fire. If I wasn't being consumed by fire I was making fire. Or being chased by animals (bears stick out in my mind now). My favorite dreams were the ones where I was in a large maze like house and going into each room of the house was like going into a different environment/dimension, when I got bored or scared with one room I could just go into another one.

Anyway, like I said a few months ago I hardly ever remember my dreams these days.
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2004 08:12 pm (UTC)
i know that a house generally signifies your mind, each room symbolizing different aspects of your brain, of your personality, of who you are. i think that's one reason why in dreams, usually when one dreams of a house they haven't been in before, the rooms differ so drastically from each other (at least, mine do...)
asillittle
Mar. 18th, 2004 04:40 am (UTC)
your dream is probably one of the most devistating times in my life.
_ily_
Mar. 18th, 2004 02:02 pm (UTC)
hiya!
how about joining _ticklish_?
it`s all about sharing fun stuff and giving each other a laugh. :)
aditu
Mar. 21st, 2004 10:33 pm (UTC)
*hugs* What a sucky dream...
I dreamed last night that I was with a guy, the love of my life, that looked like Ben Affleck.
aubkabob
Jul. 14th, 2004 09:37 pm (UTC)
can you hook me up with his best friend Matt? :)
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )

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