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a year... a YEAR?!?!?

one year ago today, at approximately 6 pm PST, i rolled into Vancouver with all of my worldly belongings either stuffed in, or strapped to the top of my jeep.

i've been here one year as of today.

wow.

my life in phoenix seems so far away, to almost seem as if it had happened to another person, or in another lifetime. much has changed, some has stayed the same.

i get nostalgic about a lot of things, namely listening to old songs that The Vacant Stairs did, hearing songs that were played at Good Time Charlies frequently in karaoke, seeing pictures of a sunset in the desert. i miss the friends i left behind, especially since i know i've been the worst at keeping in contact. i miss the spring and summer nights, sitting outside and feeling the warm wind, hearing it hiss through the palm trees. i miss the monsoons. i miss the complete independance of living on my own, driving where i wanted to when i wanted to, and surviving completely off my own means.

in contrast, i now have found joy in having a roommate, when i thought i could never stand to live with another person. i have played completely by myself on stage in front of many people, had them dancing along with my music and applauding for ME. i remembered how much more fun working in retail can be, since it is a job that is away from the office politics and backstabbing that you get in most desk jobs. i have become closer to my family, learning much more about my past, my mother's past, and my brother's future. i don't even LOOK anything like i did when i moved here.

looking back over things, i was depressed in phoenix. i felt trapped and didn't know how to even begin to change things. although i'm making about a third of what i did there, i live more comfortably. i think that not having to come home to an empty apartment night after night helps tremendously.

sure, there are more things that i would like to improve on and change over the next 12 months. but at least i now know to not fear the future. take what comes and deal with it.

it always works out in the end.

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
faetal
Apr. 23rd, 2004 06:06 am (UTC)
Awwww
aubkabob
Sep. 9th, 2004 07:57 pm (UTC)
i'm still happy i moved, for the most part. i've learned so much about myself this year, and about life in general. i was blindsided in phoenix.

every once in awhile, i'll get really down as to where i've ended up so far, but i realize it's probably only temporary, and that i'm doing what i'm doing for a reason.

i do miss phoenix, greatly. will i go back there other than to visit? doubtful.
talkingpotato
Apr. 23rd, 2004 06:21 am (UTC)
*hugs* yay for Captain Aubs!
I'm so proud of you Aubrey, I think it was so brave just to go out there from Phoenix.
I think it was a great choice that opened you to so many new possibilities. *hugs*
Love ya lots :-)
aubkabob
Sep. 11th, 2004 03:26 am (UTC)
Re: *hugs* yay for Captain Aubs!
thank you :) sanity wise, i think i'm glad that i made the decision. i know i'm here for a reason, whatever that reason may end up being.
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Sep. 9th, 2004 07:26 pm (UTC)
yes.

i'm still amazed at how quickly things change, and how drastically.
white_daisies
Apr. 23rd, 2004 07:53 am (UTC)
beautifully stated, darlin'. Do you have copies of the Vacant Stairs demos? If not, I'm sure we could get you a disc.
aubkabob
Sep. 11th, 2004 08:49 pm (UTC)
ooh yes, i still have like 2 or 3 of the demo cd's..i was so excited about them at first, but now i'm kind of... hee hee hee.
operatic
Apr. 23rd, 2004 02:56 pm (UTC)
Hey, happy Vancouversary! ;) *hug!* :)
aubkabob
Sep. 11th, 2004 12:16 am (UTC)
hee hee months later... THANKS!
madmadhatter
Apr. 23rd, 2004 03:30 pm (UTC)
hey i want to see you play sometime!
aubkabob
Sep. 10th, 2004 10:30 pm (UTC)
well, since i haven't played out in a long long time, and the place i used to do open mics no longer do open mic, it would have to be a private party.

and not THAT kind of private party, mistermindinthegutter.
madmadhatter
Sep. 10th, 2004 10:42 pm (UTC)
oh my! well shit, we should through a shindig together and try to find some other people to jam (maaaaaaan)

hee hee hee
"give her a hormonica!" ; P
aubkabob
Sep. 12th, 2004 07:07 am (UTC)
i would be down with that, yo.

well, after practicing.

it made me all happy when my brother suggested we get together tonight after work and work on a duo thing together.

course, i forgot, and he never called, so...
madmadhatter
Sep. 12th, 2004 11:37 am (UTC)
totally down yo.

diffently after practicin.

that's a shame but it happens.

i want to pick up bass sometime. *sigh*
soon as in when i can afford one.
yoko
Apr. 23rd, 2004 04:30 pm (UTC)
I love looking at things in retrospect and being able to see all the things you loved in the past, but seeing why what you have in the present is even better.

Sometimes those big moves and major life changes are the hardest to make, but by far the most rewarding.
aubkabob
Sep. 11th, 2004 09:37 pm (UTC)
absolutley. sometimes change is so freaking hard to deal with or to live through, and only in retrospect, can we really see how much we desperately needed it.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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