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Why does Outside smell like stale fireworks? o_O

my mother called me stubborn today. all because i said i would rather walk a few blocks to the bus stop and take the last bus home instead of having her boyfriend ride his bike over, pick up gas money, ride it home and grab his gas can, take it to the gas station, get gas, ride his bike home, put a gallon in, and then drive over to pick me up. she said i'm just like my father and my brother, and how COULD we be so STUBBORN?

i found this greatly amusing, as i was doing it so that i could barely go out of my way to do something for myself, instead of creating a whole rigamarole and causing someone else a great deal of stress.

not to mention mom's boyfriend gives me the creeps, and i hadn't felt like dealing with him, anyway. besides, i can always use the exercise. so she sent me packing home with 3 bags of random things, like potatos, canned green beans, and lollipops.

it was good to spend time with mom and brosely; i had moved up here to be closer to my family, and although we live in the same town, i've only seen my mother maybe 3 times since Christmas. guess after 8 years out on my own, i still have a bit of that 'familial aloofness' in me ;)

i loved my walk and bus ride today. it was PERFECT weather, or what i deem so: overcast and windy, about 65 degrees and the feeling as if it may be on the verge of storming, although the rain never breaks. i felt quite at peace walking through tree lined streets, feeling the wind, and enjoying the deadness.

deadness especially because mom lives in downtown vancouver, down by the courthouse, and since it's a national holiday, no one was around.

it was as if i had the whole world to myself and the wind and the squirrels.

except i didn't see any squirrels, only dead birds. and ants. lots of ants, but only in ones or twos. maybe they're having a holiday, too?

i also took my old videos down because mom wanted to see the lillian axe vids (she had found their music a bright inspiration during the darkest moments of her life and had been ecstatic that i had come across the things since she had never seen them other than a poster i had gotten when i was 17. it was adorable, watching her watch them all chipper like, like a teenager all over again "omg, is that stevie?" "no, it's ron. this is Stiff, Steve wasn't in there yet." "oh. EEEW, is THAT stevie?" "no, that's the creepy looking bass player that left after the Love and War album." "is THAT stevie?" "no, mom, it's still ron, he's singing?" "oh. THERE HE IS!" "hee hee, yes, that's him." "i love their clothes, do you think they still HAVE them?" "i don't know, mom *smirk*"

and now i'm home, filled with picnic-y food and all sleepy. and confused about my hair. i have no idea what's going on with it. i woke up this morning looking like Yu-Gi-Oh kid. it's too long to spike up, but too short to be comfortable doing nothing with. i feel so... BOYish. aw, flubber.

i tried to make it sunday, but i got so damn depressed
so i set my sights on monday and i got myself undressed..

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