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my review of the 3rd Presidential Debate.

Moderator: okay. on your mark? get set?..... GO!
Kerry: bush sucks.
Bush: bah ha ha! you say SUCK, but .. are you LISTENING to this guy?

Moderator: um. answer the question? Bush, you're next. Homosexuality. Go.
Bush: I DUNNO! couldn't tell ya. i'm changing the constitution!
Kerry: i'm catholic. *beautiful speach about having strong beliefs, but respecting others and their beliefs, not believing homosexuality is a choice, etc.*

Moderator: taxes?
Kerry: !!! CUT THEM! take money from the rich! give to poor!
Bush: Bah ha ha! did you HEAR him! he voted a trillion times! A TRILLION!
*split screen shows Kerry outright laughing at Bush*

Moderator: um. what about jobs?
Kerry: i have a plan. I HAVE A PLAN! I BELIEEEEEVE!!!
Bush: bah ha ha! did you HEAR this guy? A TRILLION! if someone is outsourced, i'd laugh at them and say BAH HA HA! GET AN EDUCATION, ya goober!
Kerry: um. not everyone can afford one. you didn't answer the question.
Bush: what does he know! he voted for A TRILLION DOLLARS! A TRILLION! *pee wee's playhouse goes nuts*

Moderator: okay. since you didn't answer the question earlier, Bush. Do you want to overturn Roe v. Wade?
Bush: I DON'T GIVE LITMUS TESTS!
Kerry: *looking askew at Bush* ........... WHAT?!?!?

Moderator: so... who pays for medicare and medical for people?
Bush: Bah ha ha! i hope not the administration!
Kerry: Bush is an idiot. people should have a choice. why should a senator get better medical choices than a minimum wage mother with 15 kids to raise?

Moderator: again, abortion?
Kerry: no matter what you say, although i personally don't believe in abortion, i believe i cannot push my beliefs onto others. a woman's body is her own.
Bush: psh. we don't need abortion! we have adoption programs! i'll teach them all that their wee wees will fall off if they have sex before age of 75! that'll stop unwanted pregnancies in their TRACKS!

Moderator: closing statements, GO!
Kerry: i believe in a stronger america. something obviously went wrong the last 4 years. let's change things.
Bush: i'll spread liberty and freedom from household to household like a sugarplum faerie!

*and thank you, susiebeeca for pointing out that both candidates are wearing the same tie.*

Comments

( 59 comments — Leave a comment )
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susiebeeca
Oct. 14th, 2004 02:25 am (UTC)
This is priceless XD It goes in the memories!
aubkabob
Oct. 14th, 2004 02:31 am (UTC)
hee hee and i had to add a bit about the closing speach. ;)

did i leave anything out?
(no subject) - a_muse_d - Oct. 14th, 2004 02:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - susiebeeca - Oct. 14th, 2004 02:37 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - a_muse_d - Oct. 14th, 2004 03:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 16th, 2004 05:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - a_muse_d - Oct. 16th, 2004 08:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 14th, 2004 02:35 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 14th, 2004 02:38 am (UTC) - Expand
girl_on_a_stick
Oct. 14th, 2004 02:29 am (UTC)
Oh my god, this killed me. Bravo! And thank you for making me laugh.
aubkabob
Oct. 14th, 2004 02:32 am (UTC)
happy to oblige! *bows deeply*

if we can't laugh at our country's leaders, what is life FOR?!!?

TELL MEE!!!
(no subject) - yamabiko - Oct. 14th, 2004 02:37 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - May. 25th, 2005 06:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
machmed
Oct. 14th, 2004 02:43 am (UTC)
In regards to abortion, I think it's completely hypocritical of Bush to say he endorses adoption as an alternative to abortion while he is actually against same-sex couples adopting.
birdofparadox
Oct. 14th, 2004 03:16 pm (UTC)
ABSODAMNEDLUTELY.
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 16th, 2004 05:56 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 16th, 2004 05:38 am (UTC) - Expand
paulscat
Oct. 14th, 2004 02:53 am (UTC)
yes, they WERE wearing the same tie. That scared me a bit. I loved your review, it is exactly the way I took it in too.
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:38 am (UTC)
hee hee thank you :)
a_running_dog
Oct. 14th, 2004 03:29 am (UTC)
Wow! You have a real knack for political humor... Very spot-on. :) *rotflmao*
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:42 am (UTC)
hee hee i'm glad that i could entertain! my post for the review got a much larger response than i thought it would ;)
greenminions
Oct. 14th, 2004 03:32 am (UTC)
kerry
What is Kerry's position on recognizing civil unions for homosexuals? He said tonight he supported giving benefits to their partners etc, but marriage (as a religious thing) should be man and woman only.
ragdoll
Oct. 14th, 2004 06:26 am (UTC)
Re: kerry
Kerry is pro-civil unions. He's said it at other times. He's not for religious gay marriage but believes that gay people have every right to have their partnerships considered valid and equal as marriage under the law.

http://lesbianlife.about.com/cs/workschool/p/JohnKerry.htm
Re: kerry - greenminions - Oct. 14th, 2004 03:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:46 am (UTC)
i could kind of understand the 2nd debates being a draw. kind of. the fact that bush spurt out brand new bushism after bushism, interrupted and charged the mediator, and interrupted a questioner pushed it more into kerry's court, in my opinion.

egads, i almost cannot wait for the election to be OVER already. it's STRESSFUL!
childishdreams
Oct. 14th, 2004 04:35 am (UTC)
They're just the same color ties actually. I doubt that Bush is wearing ties that say "JK" on them. I was watching a special on VH1 called "The Fabulous Life of Bush and Kerry" and that was an interesting factoid.

I love how Bush kept bringing up education. How is education going to help build more jobs? My husband spent four years in the military and he has enough experience that someone who spent four years in college has, but where is his job? He obviously has the education, but it's hard to find a job. Oh, and what about the people with degrees working as cashiers at McDonald's? That's just a coincidence right?
birdofparadox
Oct. 14th, 2004 03:20 pm (UTC)
Sadly, most of the people I know who are unemployed have college degrees. There aren't enough jobs for their skillsets and the jobs below them

a) won't pay them enough to survive (hell, they barely pay ANYONE enough to survive: Bush said something last night about an average family earning 40k a year. How the hell can ANYONE raise a family on $40,000 in this economy?)

b) employers won't hire them because they know as soon as something better comes along, the educated guy/gal is GONE.
(no subject) - childishdreams - Oct. 14th, 2004 04:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 16th, 2004 06:03 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - childishdreams - Oct. 16th, 2004 02:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 16th, 2004 05:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Oct. 16th, 2004 05:51 am (UTC) - Expand
ragdoll
Oct. 14th, 2004 06:26 am (UTC)
You're brilliant! I love you!
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:51 am (UTC)
I LOVE YOO TOOO!

hee hee.

you inspire me!
recycling
Oct. 14th, 2004 06:47 am (UTC)
HA! You totally hit the whole thing right on the head, missy. Very clever and well-done, I must say. :)
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:53 am (UTC)
thank you, thank you :)

though i realize that my review was more than a bit biased! *blush*
dreaxo
Oct. 14th, 2004 12:46 pm (UTC)
Oh my goodness, that's too funny. I didn't watch the debate (being Canadian and all) and found your review quite entertaining. My only concern was if that is a direct transcript!
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:55 am (UTC)
lol it was pretty darn close! my brother and roommate got home right as it was starting on a repeat, and he stayed and watched almost the whole thing, laughing his ass off. he kept telling me that he had NO idea that politics were so... FUNNY.
elysiangirl
Oct. 14th, 2004 01:42 pm (UTC)
fan.
tastic.
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:55 am (UTC)
i'm happy you likey.
madmadhatter
Oct. 14th, 2004 03:46 pm (UTC)
HURRAY for YOU

this made my morning!
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 05:59 am (UTC)
hee hee hee, happy to serve! *salutes*
(no subject) - madmadhatter - Oct. 16th, 2004 06:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - May. 25th, 2005 07:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - madmadhatter - May. 25th, 2005 07:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Feb. 19th, 2006 04:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - madmadhatter - Feb. 25th, 2006 01:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Nov. 23rd, 2006 01:55 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - madmadhatter - Nov. 23rd, 2006 10:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - aubkabob - Nov. 27th, 2006 03:51 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - madmadhatter - Nov. 27th, 2006 06:29 am (UTC) - Expand
mr_cricket
Oct. 14th, 2004 04:02 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BRAVO!! TESTIFY!!
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 06:00 am (UTC)
word.

to ya mutha.
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Oct. 16th, 2004 06:03 am (UTC)
ooh, can i make one for bush with a cross eye and felt spittle coming out of the corner of his mouth?
(no subject) - a_muse_d - Oct. 16th, 2004 08:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
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