Kerry: bush sucks.
Bush: bah ha ha! you say SUCK, but .. are you LISTENING to this guy?
Moderator: um. answer the question? Bush, you're next. Homosexuality. Go.
Bush: I DUNNO! couldn't tell ya. i'm changing the constitution!
Kerry: i'm catholic. *beautiful speach about having strong beliefs, but respecting others and their beliefs, not believing homosexuality is a choice, etc.*
Kerry: !!! CUT THEM! take money from the rich! give to poor!
Bush: Bah ha ha! did you HEAR him! he voted a trillion times! A TRILLION!
*split screen shows Kerry outright laughing at Bush*
Moderator: um. what about jobs?
Kerry: i have a plan. I HAVE A PLAN! I BELIEEEEEVE!!!
Bush: bah ha ha! did you HEAR this guy? A TRILLION! if someone is outsourced, i'd laugh at them and say BAH HA HA! GET AN EDUCATION, ya goober!
Kerry: um. not everyone can afford one. you didn't answer the question.
Bush: what does he know! he voted for A TRILLION DOLLARS! A TRILLION! *pee wee's playhouse goes nuts*
Moderator: okay. since you didn't answer the question earlier, Bush. Do you want to overturn Roe v. Wade?
Bush: I DON'T GIVE LITMUS TESTS!
Kerry: *looking askew at Bush* ........... WHAT?!?!?
Moderator: so... who pays for medicare and medical for people?
Bush: Bah ha ha! i hope not the administration!
Kerry: Bush is an idiot. people should have a choice. why should a senator get better medical choices than a minimum wage mother with 15 kids to raise?
Moderator: again, abortion?
Kerry: no matter what you say, although i personally don't believe in abortion, i believe i cannot push my beliefs onto others. a woman's body is her own.
Bush: psh. we don't need abortion! we have adoption programs! i'll teach them all that their wee wees will fall off if they have sex before age of 75! that'll stop unwanted pregnancies in their TRACKS!
Moderator: closing statements, GO!
Kerry: i believe in a stronger america. something obviously went wrong the last 4 years. let's change things.
Bush: i'll spread liberty and freedom from household to household like a sugarplum faerie!
*and thank you, susiebeeca for pointing out that both candidates are wearing the same tie.*