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Dear Uterus;

*knock knock* are you okay down there? why are you not bleeding? usually by now, your lips will be spewing forth more blood than Gene Simmons in concert. i've been preparing for you to do so. you should have been finished throwing up your monthly lining build up by now, yet i haven't heard a peep from you. is everything okay?

let me know. if i'm not at home, give a message with the roommate, or leave a message after the tone.

Thank you.

- Aubrey

-------------------------------

i accomplished SQUAT on my day off. and no, i do not mean, that crouching stance one takes while going in the woods. wrong squat. i mean zero. zilch. nada. andrea and i sat around, drooling from the sides of our mouths from boredom. i watched Matrix: Revolution. i watched part of Aliens: Resurrection. we watched The Princess Bride. i did cross stitch. we worked out on her health rider. we complained of boredom.

finally, we got off our arses and went to Peking Garden for greasy chinese quisine with her mother, and giggled and pointed at the engrish in the menus (barbecue pork! it's Every Body's Favorite! "i know MY body likes it!" ...complete with miced celery. "squeak. squeak." Spring Roll: the appetizer commonly known to people as "egg". "sweety, what would you like for breakfast? scrambled spring rolls and bacon, please."), then off to Ice Cream Renaissance, where i drowned whatever was left of my stomach area in a Wavering Indecision, which came out looking like a butterfly, complete with scoops of mango, chocolate, lemon, strawberry, coffee, and cheesecake ice cream.

came home. watched Kate and Leopold. watched what happened to be thee. weirdest. aqua teen hunger force episode EVAR. went to bed. still reading the war of the twins. yes, i'm slow at reading lately.

Comments

( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
secret_ninja
Oct. 18th, 2004 05:37 pm (UTC)
Dude! Mine too! But I have an IUD so preggers is out of the question
aubkabob
Oct. 22nd, 2004 04:31 pm (UTC)
i haven't had sex in 3 years, so preggers is out of the question, too.

it started, though. and with a VENGEANCE. in my work khaki's no less.

*aubrey's helping a customer*
*aubrey's eyes suddenly get VERY wide*
*customer leaves*
*turning to Betty...* "betty, i need to go to the bafroom RIGHT NOW.
madmadhatter
Oct. 18th, 2004 05:40 pm (UTC)
gene simmons, i would have more thought gwar.

no maybe gwar would be too much blood.

what aqua teen episode?
dbsquirrel
Oct. 18th, 2004 08:04 pm (UTC)
i believe the one with the mexican jumping beans fighting the hallucination germs that shake picked up by not covering a public bathrooms toilet seat with paper before using it
madmadhatter
Oct. 19th, 2004 03:14 am (UTC)
holy whaaaat?

have not seen it. i fell asleep at the end of harvey birdman.
aubkabob
Oct. 22nd, 2004 04:39 pm (UTC)
it's definitely worth seeing.

he basically hallucinated that file cabinets, the wall, and the basketball were all talking to him. the wall kept saying "i'm a basketball!"... then he fell through the floor and was suddenly performing in a lounge to a mama and daddy file cabinet, and their baby file folder. then sniper flower came in and shot up the place.

cutscene to frylock and meatwad. the only way they can save him is to inject him with mexican jumping beans. unfortunately, the combo makes the hypnogerms write musicals. while drinking. on weekends. so Poncho the Bean goes to profess his love to the Hypnogerm princess, who gets locked in a tower... he can't wait for her, so he must run off to hook up with a much prettier, much younger and more illegal hypnogerm, and they have many babies. he ends up coming back and rescuing her, only to get shot in the head. she takes his jumping bean corpse to the Bean Wizard, who brings him back to life, but WAIT! OH NOES! HE'S A ZOMBIE BEAN! and he chases all the hypnogerms out of Shake's body...

... and then they crawl up Frylocks back.... and...
madmadhatter
Oct. 22nd, 2004 05:42 pm (UTC)
HOLY FREJOLES

awesome!
aubkabob
Oct. 23rd, 2004 12:24 am (UTC)
it was.
madmadhatter
Oct. 24th, 2004 04:23 am (UTC)
need to watch adult swim more.
aubkabob
May. 25th, 2005 06:15 pm (UTC)
i finally got adult swimmed out... all reruns reruns reruns.

*sigh*
madmadhatter
May. 25th, 2005 06:51 pm (UTC)
I had four days off and I still only watched it, kind of, once.
aubkabob
Feb. 19th, 2006 06:04 am (UTC)
it dawned on me just yesterday that i haven't had cable enough TO watch adult swim for like 4 or 5 MONTHS.

hee.
madmadhatter
Feb. 19th, 2006 04:45 pm (UTC)
i almost mostly watch it on weekends if i do watch it all. mostly just to watch the boondocks cartoon.
aubkabob
Nov. 8th, 2006 03:10 am (UTC)
and now that we have Real Cable again, i almost never watch it. it seems like all that is on via channel 50 - 60 is CSI and Law and Order, give or take the brand. since i had never seen any of them, i keep getting roped in.
madmadhatter
Nov. 9th, 2006 10:54 am (UTC)
i really have weird like/dislike thing with CSI and Law and Order for some reason. I have no idea what it is either. I've been trying to read more then watch tv, which i do for the most part, but sometimes it's nice to zone out on something silly
aubkabob
Oct. 22nd, 2004 04:32 pm (UTC)
i had been reaching down to turn the television off to go to bed when it came on...

and i stood there and watched the whole thing.
carush_girl
Oct. 18th, 2004 07:09 pm (UTC)
Me and my uterus are doing A OK ....
[patting my uterus for being on time, Wait! she might want some "pats" all the time]

aubkabob
Oct. 22nd, 2004 04:31 pm (UTC)
hee hee.

our silly verginas always wanting attention!

*sigh*
holdyerfire
Oct. 19th, 2004 12:29 am (UTC)
Haha...we have a Thai place around here with similar descriptions of the entrees on the menu. It's seriously worth going just to sit and giggle at 'em (the food's pretty damn good, too).

Dude, ok...maybe your uterus took over mine, cuz I seriously started my period like 2 weeks early...WTF??
aubkabob
Oct. 22nd, 2004 04:33 pm (UTC)
*sighs* alas, i think there was a switch somewhere.

i think aliens are playing a prank and switch our uterussessses when we weren't looking. or sleeping. or something.
scene_stealer
Oct. 19th, 2004 01:13 am (UTC)
whatever that is that you ate sounds disgusting!
aubkabob
Oct. 22nd, 2004 04:34 pm (UTC)
actually, i had a sampler.

and i HAD to get the bbq pork.
wickedcricket
Oct. 19th, 2004 04:07 am (UTC)
It's always a little nervewracking when the ol' uterus gets stubborn...you said you'd just gotten over being sick, maybe your hormones got all thrown off by that.
aubkabob
May. 24th, 2005 05:05 pm (UTC)
my uterus used to be mostly infallable. i guess that since i've been changing things with my body lately, as well as getting sick back then when i originally made the post, is making it a tad off, also. i've changed my diet massively lately, and i didn't even have a LICK of pms before hand, i just sort of *cough* went to the bathroom and BOOM! there she blew. generally, my boobies are angry heavy things for at least a week in advance, and i have back aches, moodiness from hell, etc.

i'm watching it closely this time to see if it happens again.

silly uterus.
energon_martini
Oct. 19th, 2004 04:55 am (UTC)
This always works (for me, anyway): Take a pregnancy test. It'll come out negative. Then your uterus will say, "Ha ha, GOTCHA! I totally fooled you, you silly- GLOOORRRT!"

aubkabob
May. 24th, 2005 05:18 pm (UTC)
LMFAO!!! glorrrt.

that so reminded me of a time i was hanging out with some guy friends and they asked what it sounded like when i was on my period, what it sounded like when i bled. for lack of a better response, i responded with a loud musical "LAAAAAAA!!!!"

God, i miss those boys.
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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