Ticklebuddy Wonderpoo (aubkabob) wrote,
Ticklebuddy Wonderpoo

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musical fear

why am i afraid of my guitar?


it's currently propped up in a corner, covered with fingerprint smudges and a thick coating of dust, the capo clasped firmly on the second fret, which i know is a horrid way to store the thing, but at least i won't lose it. life without a capo is suck.

i'm by myself a lot these days, which had been an excuse to not play the thing before: i didn't want to torture my roommates with my rusty relearning and repetitive crooning. but now i don't have that excuse.

i just keep gazing at it in all its black glory, leaning against the fireplace. i think to myself "i can play it NOW!" and then fervently try to think of a trillion other things i should be doing instead of playing my guitar. it's like i'm avoiding a little underlying voice that says that i'm too old to be a rock star anymore?

who knows.

i hate the fear.

but as much as i hate it, it doesn't make me pick it up and play it any faster.

if i seem bleak, well you'd be correct
and if i don't speak, it's because i get disconnected...

there's more to living than only surviving
maybe i'm not there, but i'm still trying....

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