During the drive from Daniel's house to our home, I watched the world go by. I watched the street lamps play off of the numerous evergreens and carniferous (hee hee carnivorous! rawr!) trees as we sped up the 205 towards the bridge that separates Oregon from Washington, and thusly, Portland from Vancouver. I lost myself in the sheer beauty of all that is around me. I cocked my head and gazed at all of the city lights and the patterns they would make. I watched as we flew over the bridge and the lights played off of the Columbia River. I thought about those that were around me at that precise moment, and how much each and every one of them meant to me. My brother, my best friend on earth. Daniel, who makes me laugh and makes my best friend so happy in their relationship. Andrea, who proved to me that roommates are not always bad things, and that I can find a perfect friendship with someone who is my complete and total opposite.
I realized that I was completely and inexorably perfectly happy in that precise moment in time. I was at peace with the world, and the world seemed at peace with me.
I get asked frequently why I left Phoenix, and if/when I will ever move back there.
Ironically, exactly two years to the DAY, I can tell you that I honestly have no desire to return.
Return to visit, certainly. But to live? I had cultivated my whole life there, my very own life, away from all family. I grew so much as an individual there, and will never regret making that move.
I left home, I had adventures, I did soul searching and experienced so much in the way of good, bad, and vicious. I went on vacations, traveled all over the united states to visit people, went to mexico. I had a social life where I would be out quite often.
But I didn't LIVE.
And although I hardly leave the house other than random jaunts and my trips to work, I can tell you that for the first time in my life, I am able to experience life in the emotional aspect that it should be experienced.
I am at peace.