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Apr. 24th, 2005

i reading through old posts, in some posts in late 2002, I came across the entry a night or two before I almost killed myself.

the next few posts, the lyrics i chose, everything else, sent such a shiver down my spine.

Thank God I have come further.

*stops reading now*


( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 25th, 2005 05:51 am (UTC)
Sometimes it's good to look back, but only far enough to see how far it is you've come. Sorry I stopped talking, I got a sudden suprise phone call. We'll talk soon. :)
Feb. 28th, 2006 06:06 am (UTC)
it's okay, hun, i frequently stop talking because i'm distracted by a shiny object, so your excuse is much more valid!
Apr. 25th, 2005 11:42 am (UTC)
I am greatful that you did too!
Apr. 25th, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
Me too!
Nov. 16th, 2005 02:39 am (UTC)
where have you BEEN lately, by the way? you've been missed!
Nov. 16th, 2005 03:25 am (UTC)
I'm sorry I've just not felt like I had anything to say or that anyone was listening. then there are the times when I write something and its really meaningful or something like that and I make a joke somewhere to keep things light and all I get replies on is the joke... not the best feeling in the world.

As of late I've just been working and talking to someone, lots so thats where most of my time has been, My co worker let me get ahole to Stwie griffin: the untold story and he wants to make so many jokes about it but I have yet to watch it hee hee :) So I guess its not just my LJ that getting neglected but yeah... I have been just kicking back and watching the pages go by :D

Thanks for your letter I'll be posting about it when I get time and snap a pic.

Nov. 1st, 2006 01:54 am (UTC)
totally understandable. that's why i don't really make real serious posts here, i reserve it for places and people that i know will lend me the ear i need. and sometimes not even then. sometimes i just stew. stu! ;)

as long as you don't ever disappear completely on me!
Nov. 2nd, 2006 01:31 pm (UTC)
NOpe not going any where if you ask for a specific response or a response from me I'll do so, I susually go back and read the things that I've missed too.
Apr. 25th, 2005 12:10 pm (UTC)
I have definitely wondered where it all begins and where it all will end?

Jan. 27th, 2006 04:21 am (UTC)
i guess it could be argued that a lifetime is full of many beginnings and endings, all coalescing together.

at least it hasn't OFFICIALLY ended yet.
Apr. 25th, 2005 01:59 pm (UTC)

Well, here's to still being here, years later.
Apr. 24th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
no doubt. people try to run me down, and dagnabbit if i don't keep going! i'm the energizer bunnay!

a bunny with aging hips and back, but still going nevertheless.
Apr. 25th, 2005 03:38 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad and grateful that you chose life, it's not easy to keep fighting it out when things look so depressing and bleak and I admire you so much for showing the inner will and determination to slog through it.

Love you dearly, Aubs <3
Apr. 9th, 2006 06:24 am (UTC)
Re: *hugs*
i am, too, no matter how bleak things seem at times, i'm so thankful i chose life.

i love you dearly, too, my squawking pertato!

and i mean 'squawking' in the most endearing way - anything you say seems golden to me :)
Apr. 9th, 2006 09:25 am (UTC)
Re: *hugs*
hehe SQUAAWWWKK!! I'm like the squawking parrot that lays golden comments.
Nov. 11th, 2006 08:21 pm (UTC)
Re: *hugs*
hee hee! i ... really have no witty come back for that. MORE TEA IS NEEDED.

i hate it when the kitchen is so far away.
Apr. 25th, 2005 03:50 pm (UTC)

Sep. 13th, 2005 05:39 pm (UTC)
indeed. it makes me wonder what part of me feels like i keep needing to point out the fact that i almost did it.
Apr. 25th, 2005 07:49 pm (UTC)
Strange to look back on such times....
glad you're here. *hugs*
Sep. 12th, 2005 03:39 am (UTC)
thank you. whenever i hear someone contemplating suicide, i want to smack them upside the head and scream "don't you realize this sucky situation is only temporary? just think of everything you'll MISS."

not to mention it's extremely selfish, says me.
Apr. 26th, 2005 01:20 am (UTC)

I'm really glad to hear things are going much better for you, because I know life is rarely a bowl of cherries. You've always been a kind person and offered an encouraging word or two when things were going rather badly for me back in late '01. I don't know if I ever thanked you, but if I didn't, now's as good a time as any to do so.

Alive in '05! That's the new slogan...
Apr. 4th, 2006 01:59 am (UTC)
Thanks so much for your thanks. I remember how awful things got for both of us, and am extremely thankful that we worked through it.
Apr. 26th, 2005 02:26 am (UTC)
I'm so glad you've come further too. And I'm so glad I got the chance to meet you on LJ -- and I better get the chance to meet you in real life! ;-)

Love you. ;-) *hugg* *kissie*
Oct. 15th, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
love you, too, my dear!

i guess because of how close i came to offing myself, and because of all of the joy i've felt in the years since, i want to frantically shake those that are borderline suicidal themselves and scream "do you have any IDEA of everything you will miss? this is only TEMPORARY, no matter how dismal and dispairing it may seem!"
Nov. 4th, 2005 11:11 am (UTC)
I'm glad you feel that way 'cause it means I don't need to worry about losing you that way. ;-)
Oct. 27th, 2006 04:00 am (UTC)
i get weird and emotional and freak out from time to time, but i promise no suicide!
Apr. 29th, 2005 06:37 am (UTC)
I often find myself thinking about those times in my teenage years when suicide seemed a viable option. Or my actual attempt of it. Then I think of all the things life has brought to me since and I get shivery. Not everything has been a cakewalk, that's for sure, but geez I'd have missed out on so much good stuff if I'd done it.

So I know how you feel. Life is hard, but it's worth living, isn't it?

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )


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