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Jul. 28th, 2005

am currently trying all the different tactics you all placed forth in my earlier entry about computer stubbornness. am currently defragging. sure, an arguement could be made that technically, i shouldn't be DOING THINGS while this is occuring, but BAH! since when have i followed directions? if i followed directions, i'd be a marvelous cook.

woke up with a GIANT CRICK in the neck. ooh how i love that. must but rice baggy goodness on it before my forced march to work, although it's already death hot in here and we possess no fans.

did my monthly full measurements today, which hath put me at a total of 24.5 lbs lost and a total of 36.75 inches since april. the measurement loss would have been more profound, but for some reason, i've gained inches in my shoulders and boobays. i blame furniture pulls for this. or maybe i'm bloated in my shoulders? ha. what a visual THAT is. arms thankfully FINALLY smaller, though. maybe i just measured wrong. i blame the crick.

feels like a day where i must consume as much caffeine as possible to function, dunno why.

dreams yesternight about moving, that i had wasted all of my time that i could have used for packing and stuff, and that i could do it if i rushed, but i had only an evening to pack up everything i owned that i hadn't gotten around to yet, AND completely clean the apartment. dreams like this worry me, especially if it turns out to be repetitive. for those of you that have been on my friends list for more than 3 years, you may remember that i had been having repetitive moving dreams where i had a VERY short time to go through everything that i owned, and that i could only take what i could carry with me. three to six months after they started/ended, i was suddenly faced with the decision that i would drop my 8 years of life in phoenix and move up here with mom and jess, and that i had only 2 weeks to go through 8 years of belongings, and that i could only take what i could fit into my jeep with me.

so, yeah. dreams like that worry me, though it seems to be only one dream so far, and the move in the dream hadn't been as profound as it had been before, i could take everything with me this time, i was just pressed for time and couldn't get help from others, people were badgering me constantly, and i had to pack everything into my old intrepid and make many trips.

one set of dreams that has been repetitively showing up lately is dreams regarding being in school. i think i've had maybe 3 of them this week alone. i think they started manifesting themselves after talking to hannah about possibly going back to school, though i still didn't know what i wanted to be when i grew up. last night's involved roaming around the school, i couldn't find my locker, and there were all these different wings filled with different things, like cafeterias and stores. i ended up being EXTREMELY late for a class because i couldn't find the damn locker section. finally, in a quiet hall where classroom doors were open, i screamed loudly "WHERE ARE THE LOCKERS?!?!?" everyone looked, and i felt a tad embarassed about my outburst, but i got the directions i needed.

weirdly only work 3 days next week: sunday, tuesday, and wednesday. partay.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 28th, 2005 09:56 pm (UTC)
how cool would that be if everyone gained boobs when they lost weight, usually thats the first to go (sigh) Mine are fabulous when i'm chubby, but they always fade away when my weight goes down again. it would be such a good idea for it to be the other way around, so that big women didn't have to get breast reductions, and little women could have natural breasts.

And 37 inches is IMPRESSIVE!!! i'd thought you'd lost weight, but i never really saw you often enough to comment on it, and couldn't remember exactly. so, yay for you!!! you look hot!!! Especially when you're on stage belting out "You are the only one", cause you rocked the shit out of that song.
Apr. 30th, 2006 05:54 pm (UTC)
aww, you're so sweet!!! i wish i could have stuck to my diet, because GAW, i felt better, and looked better, and... you would so think that would be motivation enough, but apparently not. ah, well, at least i'm still 20 lbs less than i was a year ago.

thinkin bout you lots and hoping everything is going well for you in boot camp! much love!
Jul. 28th, 2005 10:41 pm (UTC)
Wooohoo Congradulations on your quest! *looks down, scratches chin* I've said something like this before. Oh well i've said it again, one can not hear this too many times!

Good work Keep going.

Skipping everything else 'cept the computer part, for that just get a hold of me if you've got any questions or problmes.

*'m off to find cereal/milk or food around the house*
Jul. 29th, 2005 02:25 am (UTC)
less work= more fun, whoo! :)
Jul. 29th, 2005 10:48 am (UTC)
I hate high school dreams; but then I hated high school.
Apr. 30th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
i HATED high school, too.

funny responding to this months later and realizing that i DID end up back in school. one of the dreams i had was involving being PISSED that i had a 6 am math class, and when i went to register for my first quarter, 7 am math was all that was available.

funny how that works out.
Aug. 2nd, 2005 08:40 pm (UTC)
I feel like I should congratulate you for that dream where you screamed your confusion and got clarity. So -- brava! good for you!

To dream that you are in school may be a metaphor for the lessons that you are learning from your waking life. Alternatively, it may signify feelings of inadequacy and childhood insecurities that have never been resolved. It may relate to anxieties about performance and abilities.
To dream that you are late, denotes your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future. (from dreammoods.com)
Apr. 30th, 2006 05:31 pm (UTC)
thank you so much for the thoughtful response! months later, i'm thinking a lot of it applied. i also find it interesting that a lot of the feelings manifested themselves, too, when i went back to school in reality in january.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )


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