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cat AND house treated for fleas. check. so why am i still getting eaten up? maybe they set up camp under my desk. after all the furniture is out of here, i'll redo the house.

i think i may go through another one of my recluse phases soon. i can feeeeeeel it coming on. i just don't have money/energy for anything right now. i'm looking at the next month's general costs, and trying fervently not to freak out. not only are my bills going up (due to only having 2 people living here instead of 3), but there are things that are due before i expected them to be. silly cable wanting to be paid in ADVANCE. egads. how bad do we REALLY need Starz? that would save us $13 or so...

certainly doesn't help that i'm being scheduled for 20 hours a week instead of 40, either. though it works out to be almost the same after taxes and garnishment.

i so hate it whenever they toss me a random early morning shift, when i'm used to not getting up until 930, not used to going in until 2 - 4. i'm consoling myself with the fact that i shall be home by 430. nap time, mayhaps?

i hate change at times. i keep teetering back and forth between wanting the whole stupid move just to be the fuck OVER, and wanting to cherish all the time that i have left with the best roommate i ever had. i keep looking around at the house, and realizing all that will leave within the next couple of days, and stressing out over different things that we'll need that i'm sure we're not even thinking about, a'la can opener, Splenda, FOOD. mentally trying to NOT add up the different expenses for such things, because it will stress me out, and i just woke up.

i just really need to tackle things head-on, instead of running the other way and curling up into a proverbial ball. that never solved anything. i don't know why on earth i think that avoiding things will make them better, you would think that by now i would have learned a lesson to the contrary. i'm sure i could accomplish a lot more if my back weren't freaking KILLING me. there you go again, avoiding and procrastinating, so i haven't made it to a freaking chiropractor or free clinic or massage therapist or HELL, because i "haven't felt like it". what is WRONG with me? you would think that being in so much pain that i can hardly stand or sit for any length of time would be motivation enough. so now i get to go to work with spasming shoulders. this day is going to ROCK. and because i am an opener, i can bet the whole stack of frejoles that i'll be behind customer service. i wonder how much of my back pain is because of repetitive cashier movements?

and i'm highly emotional, and i've been up for a freaking half hour. hooey, this is going to be a long day. doesn't help that i'm days late for bleeding, which almost never happens. my uterus works like perfect clockwork, other than years ago when i had suddenly started working out like a fiend at a gym. and no, no chance of pregnancy, unless it was immaculate conception. but i'm sure that my indecisive hoo ha isn't helping my mood any.

back to the moving. i don't know why i thought it would just be an easy "okay, they both move out, jess moves in, we're all happy hunky dory" thing. there's so many things i obviously haven't thought about, i.e. internet. yes, it's in my name, but having it in my name does not magically hook it up. i forgot that EVERYTHING is theirs. the router, the cords, everything. yay for extra added expenses. so i may be internet less for a day or two until it's all figured out. THE AGONY.

the stress.

i'm also having abandonment issues with weekends and livejournal. weird. i just hate not having all of you around, for those of you that disappear on weekends. i've come to dread the weekends, almost, because of it.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 26th, 2005 02:19 pm (UTC)
Awww, don't have abandonment issues, I will be around as long as the Hurricane does not knock me out. Also I loveyour icon.
Aug. 26th, 2005 02:24 pm (UTC)
I'm always around on the weekends...just don't seem to cross paths with you. FIND ME! We can be alone and abandoned togethAR.

Been obsessively using MySpace so if I'm not skulking around LJ, that's where I am.
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:24 pm (UTC)
i've tried to obsessively use MySpace, but it just doesn't happen. maybe one day.

holy crap i'm tired today. i took a tylenol pm last night, and still couldn't sleep worth shit until this morning, which made it impossible to wake up. and i'm still stiff and sore as hell.
Sep. 10th, 2006 07:19 pm (UTC)
not good. I hate when I'm sleeping hardcore and having a bad dream because I have to wake myself up. That's what happened today :(
(Deleted comment)
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:24 pm (UTC)
eek, don't remind me! those things freak me out.
Aug. 26th, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC)
Aw HUGS, I know, life is just too expensive and complicated at times. Bills, thats the one thing if remedied in our lives which would help us all live longer.

LONG DISTANCE HUG. If you ever need to chat or talk, feel free to look me up on my yahoo or aol, usually around 8-4 weekdays, other hrs mixed.

Sep. 10th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC)
thanks much, hun! i keep meaning to log onto trillian more often in order to talk to people, but never seem to get around to it!
Aug. 26th, 2005 05:15 pm (UTC)
*hugs you like mad*
Get some gum, relax and just tackle one thing at a time.

I'm always around even on the weekends, like I'm on freakishly.... like, freakishly, serisouly. I've been trying to cut down but I don't think that I will because as long as I'm searchig online I'm not answering questions or asking the ones that need to be asked. Catch me how you can, like you can, because - you can.

I can help with the internet stuff but i don't have a router for you. If all you'll have is one PC then you don't need one just get a software firewall on make sure you have Service pack 2 (if using XP) and turn on windows firewall. Cables aren't that expensive really however buying them they will make you pay, less you go to a computer show or know a good place. I can make you one(s) to length, just let me know the length. Also if you'll have just two computers then you can connect one through the other to the interent, I know how to do this and all you'll need is an extra network card, I've got tons.
Lastly buyig a router isn't hard because they are mostly universal, there are bound to be places like tiger direct, compusa officemax (:P) Office Depo, etc etc. Tey sometimes carry modles that are really cheap but get the job done. They are less than 100 and most should be findalbe ~50 Don't go for wireless if you don't need it.

You know people have all ways talked about women syncing up when they live together or share alot of time in close quarters but no one talks about desyncing? Also maybe all of this (emotional state and umm... plumbing) can be just a bit of seperation anixiety?

Get read, Set, Relax! BREATH Just make it a point to get something done everyday or know why you didn't and tackle it tomorrow. Also it wouldn't hurt to get your neck and back looked at :P

[Snappy closing line goes here]
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
Re: *hugs you like mad*
thanks, dear! i do feel better now that the school books are ordered (except one - there's a vol 1 and a vol 2 out there, and amazon.com can't guarantee it won't take 3 weeks to get here (school starts a week from tomorrow) and the other sites won't say if it's vol 1 or 2, and if i'm spending $70 on it, i want it to be the right one! so i'll just buy it from school for the same price and get what i definitely know i need.
Sep. 11th, 2006 12:25 am (UTC)
Re: *hugs you like mad*
ouch I remember buying books. I don't know If I'll have the pleasure of doing that again. GOod luck.
Aug. 26th, 2005 10:53 pm (UTC)
If you are missing people you can give me a call or text! 253-273-8379
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:28 pm (UTC)
thank you, my dear! can i still text you at that number?
Sep. 10th, 2006 07:05 pm (UTC)
saddly, not any more. i had to stop my plan several weeks ago do to joblessness. I just need to come online more frequently
Aug. 27th, 2005 02:13 pm (UTC)
i just hate not having all of you around, for those of you that disappear on weekends. i've come to dread the weekends, almost, because of it.

Awww. I've been feeling the same way about LJ but during the entire week. A lot of my friends have gotten busier and gone back to school, but school doesn't start for me for another 3 ish weeks.
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:30 pm (UTC)
that's what seems like is happening right about now. not that i'm terribly addicted to lj at the moment, as i've been working so freaking much. i need to tell the scheduler that this has to be thee last week that i work 40 hours, as school starts a week from monday.

one of my friends - i forget which because i'm decaffeinated - asked if we were so addicted to lj that we would withhold interesting posts until monday because we would know that no one would be around to read them on the weekends! (i think it was eternitywaiting...)

yup. shore do.
Sep. 8th, 2005 10:17 am (UTC)
Damn, that so sucks. Can you get another housemate, or is it a two-bedroom? Still, if you don't mind the hassle, letting someone live in your living room for an extra couple of hundred $ a month might help... and life is so much better without TV at all, my dear. No cable = happiness!

*sigh* You and your finances are definitely in my prayers. Oh, and if you still haven't gotten rid of the fleas, let me know and I'll hunt down the site where I got Kanika's Advantage for MUCH cheaper than store price. And Adams is the best brand for flea spray and powder.
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:33 pm (UTC)
it's time to treat bacci again - i have the medicine all ready to go, but don't have scissors to open it, and i never think of getting that part prepared until she's already sleeping on my lap. if i don't have anyone to help (she HATES my brother and doesn't really LIKE daniel) hold her while i do it, i have to sneak up on her when she's happy and content and purring on my lap.

even then, she realizes that Something is Up almost immediately, so i'd best be quick.

and thank you, my dear, for keeping me and my finances in your prayers! i seem to have made it through everything! i always do, no matter how bleak things may seem - my biggest argument for there BEING a God. i'm just too blessed for Him to not exist.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )


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