“Hi. I'm sooooo not wanting to be here today. I'm currently on my lunch, finally - my second lunch at my second job - and I'm on my way back to Office Max in the nice cold soggy air with my hand full of toasty goodness - mmmmmm.
Anyway, today hasn't been too bad, customers have been mostly civil other than people that were irrationally weird for no reason. But I guess you're pretty much bound to get that working retail any day of the year.
It seems like all the places around me have been really dead, which is odd; usually we do, I don't know, 75 thousand, and we're only putting out 50 thousand for the day. Which is odd - I mean, I'm not complaining because it means we can get out of here and a normal, reasonable, HUMAN time, instead of at, you know, midnight, like they keep saying that we're going to get out of.
But uh, anyway, you must all be so pleased to know that I have Sunday off which means that I get to sleep in. Now I just have to deal with two days of pure hell. And uh- which, you know, really hasn't been that hellish but I'm just done with people for the day. I want them GONE, I want to go home, I want to put on my grubby scrubs and sit in front of my computer and watch all of my wonderful geekdom shows. Like Stargate and stuff. But anyway.
I'm going to go inhale my food now, so I hope all of you are doing well, and having a wonderful holiday weekend. Buh-bye.”