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Jan. 24th, 2006

okee, the topic for cause/effect has been chosen:

the effect on children negative AND positive, for them being brought up in a drug-filled household.

yes, yes, i know that initially you think that there can be NO positive aspects of it. for the most part, i agree. and i'm not saying that you should smoke pot and draw your kids into your scene. not at all. i'm just saying that unfortunately this situation happens. but not every single thing that comes out of it is awful.

for example, my brother and i grew up around drugs, alcohol, etc. my childhood was odd, to say the least. i'm also certain that while there were bad aspects of it, that my childhood was not nearly as awful as some others who grew up in the same general situation. i'm certain that there are parts of me that are stronger today because of everything that i have gone through.

gah, i shouldn't be trying to convey this schtuff after eating a full meal and being tired. my articulation is not the best this evening. so please, no flaming.

and what i would like from YOU, my dearests, is if you have a moment in the next.. oh... day or two or few, give or take depending upon exactly where i will be in the essay writing phase, if you could shoot me an email at aubkabob@comcast.net. please tell me about any experience in your childhood - if applicable - where your parents were involved in drugs. please include what you learned from the experience and good and bad memories. i mean, don't drudge up awful memories just to help me with my homework. but if you have some insight as to things that i could include in my essay, please email them to me. i'm very curious as to how my drug-filled childhood/teenagehood compares with others.

something totally unrelated... usually, with colds, your nose runs and you lack solid boogers for quite some time. usually, you know you're getting better because you start GETTING solid matter in your nostrils again. for some really weird reason, this cold is causing my nose to create these evil stalactites that are sharp, angry, and hella uncomfortable. it's to the point where i'm afraid that if i sniff with too much strength, that i'll slice open my brain.

and bacci is being a real sweetheart this evening. if she was a human child, i would wonder what she was up to.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
talkingpotato
Jan. 25th, 2006 08:29 am (UTC)
Bacci
eheheh ya know..Calicos are like cheese, they just get better with age :-)
aubkabob
Nov. 6th, 2006 05:34 am (UTC)
Re: Bacci
ooh, thanks for reminding me that i need to keep my bedroom door closed until bacci is out of heat so she doesn't pee on things.
talkingpotato
Nov. 6th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
Re: Bacci
urine is like cheese, it smells stronger with age :)
defensor
Jan. 25th, 2006 12:50 pm (UTC)
there can be a positive to growing up in that environment. my brothers were/are raging alcoholics, and because of that I don't touch alcohol of any kind. I'e seen the absolute total destructiveness it causes, and I won't let a drop of it into my system. the same with drugs.
aubkabob
Nov. 7th, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)
i'm very proud of you for that. i came from a family that encouraged my drinking from approximately age 10 or 11. i remember spending the night at raisin's house and both our parents would buy us alcohol to keep us occupied while they went out to the bars.
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Nov. 7th, 2006 01:30 am (UTC)
kitties are great therapy for so many things!!!

and i'm happy that my biological functions can amuse :)
icebox
Jan. 25th, 2006 02:43 pm (UTC)
I didn't grow up around drugs, so I'm not much help there, but I will say that all of the babies I've had over the years who's mothers have smoked pot while prego are some of the calmest babies ever.
raisin
Jan. 25th, 2006 02:52 pm (UTC)
well, you know my childhood, since we shared most of it!!
aubkabob
Nov. 7th, 2006 05:43 pm (UTC)
ha, in fact, i just mentioned our mothers above!
restlessgypsy
Jan. 25th, 2006 03:11 pm (UTC)
I agree that there are definite positives to growing up around negative things such as drugs, alcohol, abuse, etc. It's a personal choice to allow those positives and not become a victim of that environment. So many people blame their childhood for their actions as adults. Some rise above their past and are better for the negative experience as children. I like to think I'm in the second category. I'm running late for work, but will try to send you an email later today if I have time. Great topic...
krymsonfire
Jan. 25th, 2006 03:24 pm (UTC)
I am very interested in what you find out. As you know I have a 5 month old and Richard and I both smoke pot. We DO NOT smoke around her and typically wait til the end of the night while she is in bed and we are in another room. I do realize as she gets older we will be able to hide this from her so easily. I do not feel pot is a bad thing. But I do not want her smoking. And if she does I do not want her to do it until she is out of school and is an adult. On the other hand if she is going to do it no matter what I say I would want her to be safe and I would like to monitor the situation. I am just hoping it wont come down to that and she wont have an interest in it. I deffinitly dont want any negative effect on her because we smoke pot. So any insite you can share with me would be wonderful. The most important thing in my life is her. If smoking pot is going to cause her issues I would rather not do it. Thanks
dark_asylum
Jan. 25th, 2006 07:52 pm (UTC)
I Would
Never ever flame you, because you are one of my nice wonderful good happy live journal friends.

Yayyyyyyyyyyy!!!

I didn't grow up around drugs or alcohol, but i am currently working on becoming a raging alcoholic and drinking myself to death in that fine historical tradition of Poe, Thomas, etc....

My new years resolution was to be resolute in following through on that divine imperative.

That and doing everything I can to have the biggest freakin freinds list on live journal and getting lots and lots of compassionate, loving, supportive, comments on my journal tellling me how great and wonderful i am.

I would be more than happy to e-mail you some of my great and wonderful experiences and excursions into the world of raging alcoholism if it would be helpful.

P.S. They have really nice pudding in the psych ward.

Thank you for being a friend.

Have a nice day ((((((HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS)))))
krymsonfire
Jan. 25th, 2006 08:00 pm (UTC)
Re: I Would
Richard used to be an alcoholic but doesnt drink anymore did most of that while he was in the military. I know quiting anything is hard, we just quit smoking cigerettes and before I was pregnant I was getting heavy in Meth. Thank evil I dont do that anymore although I still have times I crave it. I just dont see a problem with pot, but like I said I dont want something I do to effect my daughter.

*hugs*
hotarunokokoro
Jan. 26th, 2006 01:45 am (UTC)
well, my parents werent druggies, but one time my sister came home totally wasted! she was crying so hard she couldnt tel them what happened. apparrently, she was getting stoned and fell down into the wash that had cement sides and scrapped her legs all up. my parents refused to discuss this incident to this day. *shurgs*.... we all knew she was getting high though...
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Nov. 7th, 2006 05:46 pm (UTC)
thank you again so so SO very much for your imput and help back when i did my essay. yours was some of the best stuff to put in there, it helped more than words can say.

(you can ask our mutual friends, i really AM this behind on comments.)

and i definitely understand the inspiration for doing something better in your life, though i go back and forth between demanding to better myself because i don't want to be like my parents, and feeling almost bogged down by it: who am III to succeed where my parents didn't? it's a dumb conundrum. a fear of succeeding because my parents never did? preposterous! if anything, it should provide MORE motivation!
(Deleted comment)
aubkabob
Nov. 7th, 2006 05:48 pm (UTC)
and i promise to forever keep it screened! i could never delete it - hell, i can't even delete old comments from my inbox until they've been replied to, no matter how irrelevant they are anymore.
melaniesage
Jan. 26th, 2006 06:12 am (UTC)
I can tell you my experience as a social worker for child protection. When I got a call related to serious neglect, and the neglect was really happening, it was almost always because of (1) meth, or (2) mental health issues, meth being the most frequent cause. I saw so many parents forget their priorities, lost in drugs. Stop taking kids to school, leave babies with the same bottle for days, rotten teeth exposed and black, diaper heavy, not having been changed in days.... it's icky stuff. glass pipes on the bathroom floor, little kids left home alone in motel rooms while mom went looking for drugs. And little kids who felt responsible for making everything ok.

I had one case of marajuana abuse significant enough that it was a child protection issue, but only one. And a small handful of prescription drug cases, a few alcohol cases, but meth is a special kind of ugly.
aubkabob
Nov. 7th, 2006 05:51 pm (UTC)
i have no patience or understanding for meth at all. i remember growing up in a household with alcohol and pot, but things didn't get BAD until mom turned to cocaine and meth, which was shortly after i left for job corps, so luckily, i didn't have to witness much of it. (my brother, on the other hand, did, though he practically lived at his friends house during all of it.) i remember coming home for Christmas break and seeing my beloved mother, who had always been at LEAST 300 lbs, weigh less than i did, to hear her prattle off excuses about her habit, that she can quit at any time, that she's not really an addict because she smokes it instead of injects it, etc.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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