Jessie and I were at Barnes & Noble purchasing his Terry Brooks book. I have their discount card, so I declared loudly "I HAVE MY CARD!", thrust my hand into my purse, grabbed what I thought was my wallet, and slapped a giant green packaged fluffy PAD onto the counter. No, not a small spiral notebook, but a menstrual napkin. After I recovered from ... DYING... I yelled loudly (to be heard over my brother's gaffaws) "GUESS WHAT ELSE I HAVE!!!"
Today didn't go nearly as bad as I thought, though it took so long to get to lunch, that I clocked back in, worked for 20 minutes, and left for the day.