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i came to a realization this morning: i really really REALLY hate wasting food.

this is beginning to effect my life in a couple of ways: first of all, i keep buying the day old "bread" at school. depending upon how old and how much they have left over, you can get either a bag of three for 25 cents, or a bag of three or four for 50 cents. it seems like only one or two other people and myself purchase these bags. they're perfectly fine, taste great, don't kill you. what's in the bag? generally a conglomeration of stuff, you see. i picked up one bag with a chocolate chip muffin, a lemon poppyseed muffin, and .. other... in it, and another that had twisted cheese bread, a plain croissant, and a spinach croissant in it, for 50 cents each. day before yesterday, it was a bag with four giant bagels in it. part of me squeals with joy at the fantastic CHEAP food, but another, prouder part of me recoils and hopes no one i know sees me scrambling for the deal.

but then i always realize that i keep completely to myself, for the most part, so the only people that 'know' me is the guy running the register, and a couple of coworkers.

another way that this has effected my life is the food around the house. i feel awful eating everyone else's food, as i've been a massive bum for a couple of months now (being poor due to cut hours at work and all). i generally try to eat only things that there are a surplus of in the house (like pasta and corn), and stuff that it SEEMS like no one else is going to eat, that will be going bad soon. i HATE for food to go bad. i've noticed that whenever we have going bad-able food, that i keep a wary eye on it and judge just how fast it's being eaten.. and then help out here and there, should i feel that it's not disappearing fast enough. several times that i strictly tell myself "NO, AUBREY, that's BAD! you didn't BUY that!" it ends up going in the garbage with mold parading across the surface. i could have prevented that!

also, example-ing what i'm eating this morning, whenever i mess up food, unless it will make me gag, i will still eat it. i badly burned my bagel this morning, but i'm still stubbornly gnawing on the charred surface. the hell? it cost me freaking 12 cents?!

i have no idea what caused this WEIRD obsession to surface. about 6 or more months ago, i never freaked out about it, why now? is it because my paychecks are less than half of what they had been, and some weird subconscious starving, saving thing is kicking in? who the hell knows.

last night, i dreamed that i had to copy these medical charts and i couldn't do it right, and patients risked dying because of my inability to do a simple task. doctors and fellow nurses were screaming at me.

funny how i'm dreaming of a profession that i won't be working in for another three YEARS or more.

something else i dreamed recently that i had totally forgotten about. during one of my chaotic dreams, i looked down. i was wearing all white, a lab coat, and had a white name tag on it with red lettering that said "Aubrey Keating, RN"

the idea still makes me smile.


( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 22nd, 2006 05:34 pm (UTC)
I hate eating other people's food too, I'm known for visiting places and leaving my canned goods behind that I bought while I was up there LOL
Feb. 22nd, 2006 05:45 pm (UTC)
how fabulously sneaky of you! i should try that the next time i stay at someone's house! :D
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
yes- people miraculously find their pantries stocked with SOUP! Some of those cambells soups are good.
Nov. 8th, 2006 05:23 am (UTC)
and i SO love soup... you coming to visit anytime soon?;)
Nov. 8th, 2006 07:49 am (UTC)
I promise if I ever go in that direction, you will be the first to know! :)
I haven't had the money to do much travelling lately :(
Feb. 22nd, 2006 05:55 pm (UTC)
It's not necessarily that weird. Did you ever get that "People are starving in Africa!" type speech at the dinner table?
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:01 pm (UTC)
not overly, because we were too busy eating noodles and butter that had been donated from churches.

i had thought that being so durned poor as a child had something to do with it, though i talked to a coworker who had the same financial upbringing, and she will NOT eat leftovers no matter WHAT. she would rather starve, she says.
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:03 pm (UTC)
It's still possible that's the case. People take different things from similar experiences.

Some poor people strive to be rich to do better than their parents, where some poor people feel destined to be poor and never do anything to change from their "roots", for example.
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:49 pm (UTC)
Ethopia in my house.

It was great for a while, until I came up with the response, "so send them the rest of this, I don't want it."
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:27 pm (UTC)
Buying old food is good if you're on a tight budget but becareful not to buy too old food. heh
Feb. 22nd, 2006 06:48 pm (UTC)
When I was without work I suddenly found that I was able to make food out of anything!

A can of creamed corn and some left over spaghetti noodles? MMmm, delicious when you're starving.

Ok, I don't know if I ever did that particular combination, but whatever was in the back of the cupboard suddenly became the only thing available and I created more bizarre recipies than I've ever seen in my life.

I think it's the money talking.
Nov. 8th, 2006 05:26 am (UTC)
oh gosh yes. i remember situations like that as a kid as well as while living in phoenix. it makes me sad to know how long it took me to figure out how cheap tofu is and how long it lasts.
Feb. 22nd, 2006 07:09 pm (UTC)
I'm kind of the same way. I like it when I can buy cheap food. And opening a new package of something is sometimes an emotional act of congress (cause you know, once that seal of freshness is broken...).

Then again, I have a weird thing about having stuff that looks TV-perfect.
Nov. 8th, 2006 05:27 am (UTC)
meaning you have to have it look tv perfect? and oooh yes, i know about that seal of freshness. i have to know that i want the food REALLY THAT BAD to open it, and that i will continue to want it for the next few days.
Feb. 22nd, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
I totally understand. With much guilt, I compost what spoils (eggs of unknown origin); otherwise, I toss what I can't/won't eat (stale bread, burnt cookies, rice/lunchmeat that's about to go) out to my "animal friends." They're gonna tear through my garbage and spread it all over the yard anyway, so I offer a fine selection of pre-strewn week-old spaghetti and bread heels to my various deer, raccoons, turkeys, stray dogs and carrion birds. (I rely on the crows to eat slimy lunchmeat.)
Feb. 23rd, 2006 11:56 am (UTC)
when i was little my parents used to complain to me about wasting food all the time. i used to be a real picky eater. i still am but not as bad
Feb. 23rd, 2006 09:11 pm (UTC)
IF it helps I do ti too. When there is like no funding I start to get hungry and eat and eat! I go for stuff thats no one is going to eat or cook up something snice we never eally have lefft overs...

As of late I'm glad I spet 70 bucks for food lately because I've been having to eat my snacks and tide me over as dinner... I feel myself getting grumpy I'm going to stop now.

Nov. 8th, 2006 05:29 am (UTC)
food is a silly thing. my momma always said that was why it was difficult for her to get thin: you can quit alcohol completely, you can quit drugs completely, but you can't quit FOOD.
Nov. 8th, 2006 01:19 pm (UTC)
SO true, and some of it is so tasty!!! I think I'm getting control of it but since I can't weigh my self I'm kinda concered that maybe I'm not, my knee and my back have been hurting. Although, my friends fiance was just kidding around and was rubbing my shoulders in the car and I told him that my back hurt in the middle of my shoulder blades and he did something and they don't hurt anymore!

Feb. 25th, 2006 12:09 pm (UTC)
I am the same way. Hate to be out a restraunt and see empty tables with half plates of food still there. No idea why either.
Nov. 8th, 2006 05:30 am (UTC)
ugh, that's my biggest pet peeve. though i'm a hypocrit when i go to buffets. i finally learned to put only a bite or two of the food on my plate, because i like to try EVERYTHING - otherwise i only EAT a bite or two and go back for seconds.
Nov. 9th, 2006 10:49 am (UTC)
oh maan I am the same way with buffets. another weird thing i like to do with salad bars is to just take some of the salad ingedient things individualy.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )


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