it could have been HIM.
he had said i had met her a couple of times. when i saw the picture, i.... if i'm correct, I SAT NEXT TO HER ON THE FREAKING BUS when she was on her way to work. i remember looking at her, thinking she looked familiar, and thinking she was preciously cute. i had noticed that she got off at the intersection where - in hindsight - you would get off the bus to go to mcdonalds. God, to know that i had been looking at her, admiring her.... and that she was MURDERED just a couple of hours later.... was her hair long enough for a ponytail? did she have a lip piercing? Maybe i'm confused. KGW.com had a pic of her from her myspace, and it looks EXACTLY like the girl i had seen, but with shorter hair. and myspace isn't freaking letting me browse for her.
God, i can't even handle this, and i didn't even KNOW her, really.
The murderer was a registered sex offender. i have seen him before. where? don't know, but i DO know that his last known address is two blocks from my house.
I thought about how close my work is to the mcdonalds (a block), and what it would morbidly be like to be working, have a guy walk in casually, bury a knife into my chest, and calmly walk out. would i scream? would i be able to? how would i deal with a coworker laying on the floor like that? my thoughts went much deeper and darker than that, but i shall spare you from them.
and her FAMILY... what a horrifying loss. i wish.... God, i don't know what i wish.
and now my eyes burn from crying and the idiocy i had of rubbing my eyes a bit after putting lotion on my fingers.
i'm going to bed.
