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in my dream last night, luxperpetua had booked me a gig to sing for a school. i looked in horror at the music, as i can't sing/read music, but then realized that it was just Dar Williams' "Iowa", done as opera, and knew i would be okay.

on my way to the gig, i realized i was very pregnant. i hated the baby, at first, and wondered if there was any way i could get rid of it, as i hadn't planned for it, and would have to put my entire future on hold for it. i was instantly shocked at my thoughts, and realized that no matter what it would be (boy or girl), that i would love it dearly and make accommodations for it. afterall, being pregnant, while a nuisance and inconvenience, was now going to have to be my way of life. i mused as to whether i would have a little girl to play with faetal's baby, or if it would be a boy, and if our children would eventually wed. i hoped for a boy because of not having to deal with boys pawing around our door when she was a teen, but wishing for a girl, as they tend to be a bit less hyperactive. i thought all of this as i clambored up a hill with dead and dying grass to get to the summit for my concert. (which was, for you other EQ players, the building in Firiona Vie where they used to have the paladin/cleric spells.)

i was terrified to tell my parents, as i couldn't figure out for the life of me who the father was. in my dream, you see, sex didn't lead to becoming pregnant, but tight hugs did. therefore, i was uncertain as to whether the father of my child was dispossessed, or some boy from high school, or Kenny Rogers. i couldn't believe that i had become one of Those Girls who was, first of all, with child when i hadn't wanted to be, and secondly, irresponsible enough that i didn't know who the father was. why on earth was i hugging all those people, anyway?

there was also something in there about being terrified to tell my family that i was pregnant AND a lesbian.

this all floated around in my mind as i drank some red wine and settled down for a night, cuddling George Clooney. Hell, i was already pregnant, was was another cuddle by the fireside? besides, my friends would be SO jealous, and he had asked me for a slumber party, so who was i to be rude?


footnote: i think george clooney is aiight, i certainly wouldn't NOT kiss the man if he offered, but i just never found him EVER to be the recipient of my romantical fantasies in my dream.

footnote 2: since a lot of you seem to be curious on the fact, about the possibility of me being a lesbian...

hee hee. i'll leave you hanging on that one.

For I woke up from a nightmare that I could not stand to see,
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa and you were not thinking of me.



( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 7th, 2006 02:52 am (UTC)
before knew how pregnancy happened I thought that when people hugged or kissed they got pregnant, I remember thinking that I had to be very careful hugging someone I liked...stupid movie influences. :)
Aug. 27th, 2007 12:58 am (UTC)
Ha, I think my mom had thought that a woman got pregnant if a man saw her naked or something silly like that. Growing up in the 50's when sex was so shrouded - makes me wonder what else people believed!
Jul. 7th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
*hugs you very carefully*.. ;)

Thanks for sharing your dream.

Jul. 7th, 2006 05:42 am (UTC)
You're a lesbian synth pop queen in my dreams.
Aug. 27th, 2007 12:59 am (UTC)

I will do my best to always be!
Jul. 7th, 2006 10:50 am (UTC)
Less hyper? I guess. More DRAMA? TOTALLY!!!
Aug. 27th, 2007 01:00 am (UTC)
Re: girls
It also makes me nervous to ever possibly have a girl, as it seems like you have to be very hard pressed to be able to find a female these days that HASN'T been raped or molested at some point in their lives.
Jul. 7th, 2006 04:05 pm (UTC)
Hee hee Kenny Rodgers, that was really out of left feild!

You really do have interesting dreams, I need to get mine back.
Aug. 27th, 2007 01:00 am (UTC)
I love the randomness of my subconscious sometimes!
Jul. 7th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
And kinda cool too. One of those where you wake up and thingk "Huh?!" :)
Aug. 27th, 2007 01:01 am (UTC)
Absolutely. I find it so entertaining at times the random stuff that my subconscious loves to just toss in my dreams!
(Deleted comment)
Aug. 27th, 2007 01:01 am (UTC)
I think I may have finally explained this somewhere, but it's just so durned silly that people have to 'splain themselves, label themselves that way or whatnot!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )


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