on my way to the gig, i realized i was very pregnant. i hated the baby, at first, and wondered if there was any way i could get rid of it, as i hadn't planned for it, and would have to put my entire future on hold for it. i was instantly shocked at my thoughts, and realized that no matter what it would be (boy or girl), that i would love it dearly and make accommodations for it. afterall, being pregnant, while a nuisance and inconvenience, was now going to have to be my way of life. i mused as to whether i would have a little girl to play with faetal's baby, or if it would be a boy, and if our children would eventually wed. i hoped for a boy because of not having to deal with boys pawing around our door when she was a teen, but wishing for a girl, as they tend to be a bit less hyperactive. i thought all of this as i clambored up a hill with dead and dying grass to get to the summit for my concert. (which was, for you other EQ players, the building in Firiona Vie where they used to have the paladin/cleric spells.)
i was terrified to tell my parents, as i couldn't figure out for the life of me who the father was. in my dream, you see, sex didn't lead to becoming pregnant, but tight hugs did. therefore, i was uncertain as to whether the father of my child was dispossessed, or some boy from high school, or Kenny Rogers. i couldn't believe that i had become one of Those Girls who was, first of all, with child when i hadn't wanted to be, and secondly, irresponsible enough that i didn't know who the father was. why on earth was i hugging all those people, anyway?
there was also something in there about being terrified to tell my family that i was pregnant AND a lesbian.
this all floated around in my mind as i drank some red wine and settled down for a night, cuddling George Clooney. Hell, i was already pregnant, was was another cuddle by the fireside? besides, my friends would be SO jealous, and he had asked me for a slumber party, so who was i to be rude?
footnote: i think george clooney is aiight, i certainly wouldn't NOT kiss the man if he offered, but i just never found him EVER to be the recipient of my romantical fantasies in my dream.
footnote 2: since a lot of you seem to be curious on the fact, about the possibility of me being a lesbian...
hee hee. i'll leave you hanging on that one.
For I woke up from a nightmare that I could not stand to see,
You were a-wandering out on the hills of Iowa and you were not thinking of me.