Ticklebuddy Wonderpoo (aubkabob) wrote,
Ticklebuddy Wonderpoo
aubkabob

in talking to idioscosmos about bathroom etiquette and such, it reminded me of when i was getting a pap smear, all up in the stirrups, nekkid from the waist down, and:

- one time, my VERY gay doctor exclaimed "OH MY GAW. DR. MARTEN MARY JANES?!? how DID you find those? ooh, do you wear them with little anklets turned down with ruffles along the edges? that would be so CUTE! hey, jim, come check out this girl's mary janes!" (uh, can you pull down the tent there first, hun?)

- another time, a different doctor, upon discovering that i was a travel agent (at the time), wanted to discuss in depth the possibility of booking a cruise to Alaska. i'm sorry, i'm open, but not for business.

and, going back to the bathroom thing, he had mentioned small children and embarassment in the stalls, which reminded me of:

- one time, while working at michaels, i plopped down wearily on the toilet seat, relaxed, and started to go. i then noticed a pair of tiny spiderman sneakers sticking under my stall, and pointed in my direction. i followed the sneakers up the wall to see a giant eye staring at me through the crack between the stall. As i took a deep breath to say something, the mom yoinked him back from the crack, telling him it was rude and that he shouldn't do that. "but why not?" "because."

- another time, only a week or so later, i fluffed in the barnes & noble bathroom as i had started to tinkle. a little girl in the stall next to me with her mommy asked instantly "what was that?" "nothing, hun." "what was that noise?" "nothing! nevermind!" "but what WAS it?!?" i tried to curl in on myself and disappear as the mother tried frantically to NOT outright laugh and to get her daughter to drop the subject. the daughter, seeing her mother silently laughing, kept up on the questioning. in retrospect, i almost wish i would have yelled "I FARTED. IT WAS A FART, OKAY?"

i'm sure a lot of you that have been on my friends list for quite some time will remember reading these stories when they originally happened. i just wanted to share once again how my life is...
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