i also forgot to mention that i had to wear my brother's britches to work yesterday because he grabbed mine out of the dryer by mistake. i shot him a text message that read "are your pants unusually comfortable today?" and squeezed myself into his pants (yay for us both having Mom Hips). i spent all day crawling around on the floor gift wrapping tables. (not stuff on the tables, but the tables themselves. sometimes it amazes me what i get paid $9.26 an hour to do.) i constantly freaked out about ripping or soiling the man pants with toner or something equally unremovable.
my mom told me that i need to get laid and to please do so. that's nice. i also then got to hear about all sorts of sexploitations she did while i was a teenager, so therefore no matter what i do or what i tell her, it wouldn't be shocking to her. that's nice, too.