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Today's topic of discussion....

My coworker has a nine year old daughter. The nine year old daughter has a nine year old female friend. This friend's mother took her nine year old daughter to a family planning clinic and had a complete training course done on what is intercourse, what a blow job is, how you get pregnant, etc., complete with a course involving a banana and a condom.



( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
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Mar. 26th, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC)
Better to start teaching safe sex practices early rather than late. By teaching "what a blow job is" I assume that's for education purposes and not for entertainment purposes?
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:48 pm (UTC)
Seeing as I have a 9 year old daughter; I'd be concerned. GRANTED; sex education has to be taught sometime; but it doesn't need the whole gamut of oral sex and other such things. I do and have talked with my 9 year old about sex, how it happens, along with *age* appropriate books and she used to watch The Baby Story with me on Lifetime when I was pregnant with her little brother so she knows, having babies = pain, etc. I've given her books on how her body will change, etc. as well. I think it's responsible, the education part of it, but not quite so sure why "what a blow job is" is necessary to the conversation at that age other than "boys will try to get you to do *things* - basically, don't touch IT at all". Or maybe I'm being naive.
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
I don't think that's naive, and I have very liberal ideas about sex and sex education.

Kids are curious, so the "where do babies come from?" thing should, I think, be covered by 9, but blow jobs and such things aren't something most kids would even know enough to ask about (I didn't, and I watched R rated movies way before 9), and it's not in the range of things a kid needs to know about at that age. A 9-year-old can wait a couple years before hearing about blow jobs.

That being said, I don't think that mom's decision was necessarily a bad one at all, and it's a hell of a lot better than never talking to your child about sexual safety at all. I'd personally just wait until my kid was maybe 12ish before considering something like that.
(no subject) - msanborn - Mar. 26th, 2008 09:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attaining - Mar. 26th, 2008 09:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - msanborn - Mar. 27th, 2008 05:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attaining - Mar. 27th, 2008 05:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - msanborn - Mar. 27th, 2008 05:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attaining - Mar. 27th, 2008 05:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - msanborn - Mar. 27th, 2008 02:00 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
At that age I focused much more on periods and stuff than the actual making babies stuff.

Nowadays, in my house, with my 16 yr old son (with a 14 yr old girlfriend) all I ever seem to talk about is condoms, and I have volunteered to place one on a banana.... :P

I bought my daughter an excellent book when she was about 8 or 9 (she was getting breast buds so the time was getting near)that went into all the important stuff. I don't even know if it covered sex or not, if it did, it did it in a non threatening manner.

At the same time, my son- who wasn't anywhere near the puberty yet- wanted a book too. All the books i found for boys that covered body changes (which is what he specifically asked for) went into great detail about sex, contraception, STDs, etc. Sort of a weird double standard....
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
I think that basic sex ed is appropriate at age 9; puberty can start that early, after all.

Mar. 26th, 2008 10:27 pm (UTC)
I agree ...talks about basics were already happening at that age for both my daughters. The whole blow job thing though ... um...9 seems a tad young for that , maybe more like in junior high ?
(no subject) - wendywoowho - Mar. 26th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
I think it's great that a parent is so involved with her kid's sex education. The sooner you teach it matter-of-factly, the less of a chance there is of there being any kind of shame associated with the subject.
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:52 pm (UTC)
Good for her, honestly. It may be a *little* over the girls heads, but I'd rather she took a proactive approach and gave her daughter complete, accurate, comprehensive education starting now, rather than waiting and figuring she can start at 15, 17, 20, never, and it's too late. I applaud her. Tell her your former sex-ed-teaching friend says thank you. :-)
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:55 pm (UTC)
wait wait, the lady took someone ELSES child to be taught about sex without.. permission???
I think sex ed is important (although I thought the whole thing was embarrassing, gross, and horribly uncomfortable to learn in a school setting)
but educating someone elses' kid seems .. .out of place, unless the parents discussed it in depth before hand.

Its a sad sad world that 9 year olds probably SHOULD be taught about condoms, isnt it? Geez I think about what I was doing at age 13.. and .. yeah.

Mar. 26th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)
Oh no no no. She took her own daughter, not someone else's. I'm a more than a bit sleepy, so it may not have been said as cohesively as possible!

I think sex ed is important, too - my mom had "the talk" with me when I was nine or so, and I started my period at eleven.

I also don't believe that teaching how to use a condom or what sex is or any of that will lead to promiscuity or such things. But I think that being quite THAT informative to a nine year old .. I guess that it seems like it should wait for at least a year or two.
Mar. 26th, 2008 08:58 pm (UTC)

Now there's a parent that shouldn't be a parent. Can't even take responsibility to teach their own kids the facts of life. Sad.

Early education: good
Not doing it yourself: bad

Edited at 2008-03-26 08:59 pm (UTC)
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)
My son is almost 13 now, and I've taken the "answer questions as he asks them" kind of thing. I remember when he was about 3 and taking a bath, he pointed to his penis and asked me what it was. One question led to another, like "Do you have one?" and so on. I figured that if he was old enough to ask, he was old enough to know the answer. He's asked me about condoms and blow jobs and raunchy things he's heard other boys talk about but doesn't think sound quite right. I've offered to show him the condom on the banana during one of those conversations, but he gave me an "oh jeez Mom" look and didn't take me up on it. But I'm sure when the time comes that he will.
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:04 pm (UTC)

"Go put away your Bratz dolls, MacKenzyie, it's time for your hummer class."

I think not. Not until at least fifth grade.
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:06 pm (UTC)
That is WAY too young, in my opinion. Maybe when they turn 13, perhaps, but 9? Geez!
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:23 pm (UTC)
Where I went to school, a lot of people were already having sex by 13. u.u We didn't get sex ed until freshman year of high school.
(no subject) - jason_bond_69 - Mar. 26th, 2008 09:45 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - attaining - Mar. 26th, 2008 09:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:22 pm (UTC)
I used to think that age was too early (it was high school before we had sex education -- biiiig mistake), but thinking back, I knew people who were already having sex in the 5th and 6th grade. If they weren't having sex, they were talked into oral sex (mostly girls). I went to school with a lot of people who were pregnant by age 16. So I think sex education at that age might be appropriate. I don't know how detailed the class was, but it sounds intensive and a bit like it would've gone over a nine-year-old's head. XD Covering the basics at nine should be fine, and the more in depth stuff around 11-12? I think at young ages, sex happens a lot because of pressure and not understanding the significance of sex. So focusing on those areas when kids are younger might be the best option? I want kids to understand the biological and emotional aspects of sex.
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:24 pm (UTC)

That is only two years older than my baby. Okay, part of me can maybe (huge stretch) see teaching her about safe sex, condoms and ABSTINENCE!!!! in two years. Amberielle already knows basically how a baby is made as she has a little brother. But blow jobs... no way in heck. But then again if my plans follow through, she shall be innocent until the day she is wed. ???
Mar. 26th, 2008 09:55 pm (UTC)
Well, considering the fact that kids are getting sexually active earlier and earlier nowadays, it doesn't hurt to be informed, especially if the child's mature for his/her age and already asking questions about it.
Mar. 26th, 2008 10:09 pm (UTC)
It may sound shocking but it could be needed. There was a story recently about 1 and 4 teenaged girls having an STD (what about the guys?) During on of the local stations report on the story they interview a Principal who had a kid in forth grade that was pregnant.

You don't want to say go have at it, but most sex education doesn't say that. However by ignoring it is much like ignoring any medical condition as it will only get worse.
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