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Apr. 2nd, 2008

I'm a big HUGE fan of public transit. I always do what I can to support it - always pay for my fare, sometimes even more than I need to (i.e. a full day pass, even if I'm not sure if I'm going to need it.)

This being said...

Yesterday, on the way to band practice, I got off of my bus right as the Max arrived. I have NEVER ridden the Max (for those of you not in the Portland area, the Max is the light rail system here.) without buying a ticket for it. I have ridden it many many times, and have never seen anyone ever get busted - or even questioned - as to whether or not they have paid their fare. As I didn't want to wait for another 20 min or so for the next one, I just jumped on, thinking I would pay it when I transfered, or somesuch.

When I pulled into Chinatown and got off the yellow, my transfer showed up immediately behind it. I totally forgot to grab a ticket - heck, I was about half way through my transit, so it had completely slipped my mind. I jumped onto the blue and everything was hunky dory....

... until one stop before the stop where I disembark, a giant wave of inspectors came on board, swarming over the populace, demanding in loud voices to see tickets.

As the train left that stop and headed to the next, I prayed for it to stop quickly, as the inspector closest to me was tied up with one gentleman who didn't seem to have his ticket, but who was making a frantic show of looking through everything to find it. The second the train stopped, but before the door opened, Mr. Inspectorman flew around him and barked at the rest of us to show tickets. The door opened, and I went to stand up, and he loomed over me, glaring. "Um... I didn't have cash and the machine wasn't accepting cards?" I said feebly, fighting the urge to vomit. (My entire life, I could never handle getting in trouble.)
"Where did you get on?"
"Delta Park, but this is my stop."
"... this train doesn't go to Delta Park."
"*HEAVY SIGH* do you have i.d.?"
"Step off the train with me. NOW."

I decided then to stop trying to make up excuses and just be frank with the man. Yes, I had done a Very Bad Thing, but I'm an honest person overall, and that should give me credit, right?


I handed the man my Arizona driver's license and he started to write information down, calling all my stats over his radio to ... whomever was at the other end. I tell him that I'm terribly embarassed and have always paid my fare before.
"Is this your current address?"
"What is it?" I give it to him. "How long have you lived there?"
"Um.... four ... years?"
I then get a GIANT lecture about what a horrible person I am because I haven't obtained a Washington State driver's license. I explained that I'm a pedestrian, and he replied with something to the effect that now that they have my information, THEY WILL FIND ME. I peek around him and see Ben sitting in his car, waiting to pick me up.

I looked around and saw many inspectors with a great number of people in tow - mostly minority non-English speaking families and teenagers. Several people come up to my inspector and ask where theirs went, as they have their i.d. (Apparently, some guy jumped off the train and ran for it, resulting in a misdimeanor and a $500+ fine.)

Mr. Inspectorguy finishes with the information and hands me my license and a ticket. "I gave you a warning this time, but next time, it will be a $94 fee."
"I understand. It won't happen again."
"Don't make me talk to you again - you WILL be fined."
"I understand. It won't happen again."
"I understand this. I have never done this before and certainly never will again."
He starts moving around people standing between us to yell, "DO NOT MAKE ME TALK TO YOU AGAIN!"

Anyhoo. I ended up at Ben's, we had a successful and productive band practice. I had to potty halfway through... I did my deed and stood up to pull up my pants. My pants suddenly got much lighter, as I heard a "PLOOP!"

"OH NOE!!!"

I had carried a notebook from work in my back pocket - I kept it with me at all times so that if I came across something on the floor, I could write it down to come back to later, instead of getting side tracked with it. I do have the attention span of a drunken gnat. Anyhoo... my notebook and my bank card had fallen in the urine-filled toilet and sank immediately to the bottom and into the pipe a bit. Yes, I had to fish around in my own pee to get my bank card and notebook. The notebook went immediately in the trash, and I washed my hand and card many times.


( 24 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
one of those days I see.

I didn't know if I should laugh or cry with you *huggles* (I know, you said nothing of laughing - but I know I've had to fish things out of the potty before)
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
LoL the funny thing is that - other than the wanting to vomit, I was totally fine with the whole thing. I hadn't felt as if I had a bad day at all!
Apr. 3rd, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
well boo to the investigator dude for making such a HUGE deal out of it all
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:46 pm (UTC)
bad days are dumb. glad its over.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
I was in good spirits for most of it, other than the adrenaline rush for getting in trouble, omg!
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:48 pm (UTC)
What a horrible experience...the public transportation AND the loss of the notebook.

Hope the rest of your day turns out better!
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC)
I remember leaving work, and how I was just going to leave the notebook there, like I had every other night, but didn't take it out of my back pocket for some reason.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
Isn't that the way it always goes... you do something wrong ONE SINGLE time and you get caught and get in trouble.

Didn't mean to laugh at your stuff falling in the potty, but the "PLOOP!" made me giggle... and still is...
Apr. 2nd, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, it makes me laugh greatly, especially because of the fact that I made an announcement that I was going potty and Ben's roommate said that she hoped that it would all work out well - I replied with "I can give you a play by play if you REALLY want, when I'm done..."

Then that happened ;)
Apr. 4th, 2008 01:58 am (UTC)
Ha ha ha!

Yeah, the "PLOOP!" was just perfect. Having kids, I've heard that noise too often and that's exactly what it is! PLOOP! I keep a toy rake and shovel by the potty now.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 08:01 pm (UTC)
You're the most felony felon in felontown. They should make you the mayor!

Also, your ploop reminds me of the time when the lead singer in my ex-boyfriend's band went to the bathroom between sets and dropped her in-ear sound thingy (can't remember the right name for it this second) into the toilet. She fished it out, but it didn't survive the experience.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 08:12 pm (UTC)
Oh poor you!!! What a bad bad day :-( And yeah, getting in trouble for something stupid like that always makes me SO upset!
Apr. 2nd, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
Okay, file that under "Rotten Fuckin' Day."

I hope today is better!

Also, re: Inspector Gadget: What a tool.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 09:12 pm (UTC)
I thought I had a bad morning :(
Ironically I too had public transit issues, getting my monthly pass completely slipped my mind this month. So he asked for tickets then said "....do you have April's ticket?" DOH! Anyway he just told me to get it before I took the trip home. I ride the same train every day so thankfully I've seen him every workday since uh..almost a year now.
What was kinda funny, on Monday, they didn't check for tickets on the train, and you can use your trainpass on the buses. SO I showed my March pass to the driver and he said nothing AHAHAH
Uh so I had an April Fool's day of free public transit! :-P Well..until I get my month pass this evening which will even it out.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 09:13 pm (UTC)
uh anon was me *wave*
I also wanted to add that really sucks about having your notebook drop in the toilet that you just peed in. That's like Monday squared. LOL Monday to the 10th power!

And it's not even Monday.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
ohhh man! what a rough day!
Apr. 2nd, 2008 09:44 pm (UTC)
AHAHAHAHA!! I mean...aww...
Apr. 2nd, 2008 10:24 pm (UTC)
I wish all train systems were like Chicago where you have to pay your fare and go through the turnstiles at each stop before you can get on the train. I think it is completely stupid to have the inspectors when there is only a slight chance a person will get caught without their fare. If you don't want people to slight the system and not pay the fare, then don't give them the option to not pay.
Apr. 2nd, 2008 11:03 pm (UTC)
I guess that if I were faced with a choice of fishing for my wallet in a bowl of my own pee, as opposed to having to fish for it in someone else's pee, my pee would win the day. At least I know what went into it.

Much hugs for at least having a sense of humor about the whole thing.
(Deleted comment)
Apr. 3rd, 2008 12:33 am (UTC)
:( damn sorry u had a bad day
Apr. 3rd, 2008 01:50 pm (UTC)
After the second "Don't make me talk to you again" I would have been calculating if I could escape after kicking him in the balls!
Apr. 4th, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
I'm pretty sure that if you and I met, the world would come to an end.

...so I'll be in Portland in a few weeks... ;)
Apr. 4th, 2008 10:19 am (UTC)
( 24 comments — Leave a comment )


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