I'm trying to get over my massive fear of spiders. I lay in bed last night, reading (still on the freaking Feist trilogy about Mara of the Acoma - it's taking me MONTHS to get through books that usually take me only a few days) and got up to pee. As I flopped back into bed, I spotted one of those GIANT black spiders that we get up here in the Pacific Northwest (the hell are they called, anyway? I thought they were wolf spiders, but whenever I look up what they look like, it's so not the same breed.) on the opposite side of my room, lodged in the corner between wall and ceiling. Welllll, poop. Daniel the Amazing Spider Wrangler Wonder Guy wasn't home, and it was out of my reach. I also cannot handle killing ANYTHING other than fleas and gnats. I mean REALLY.

I decided to ignore it.

I had all sorts of feelings that it was going to climb up my nose or into my ear canal whilst I innocently slumbered, laying its eggs in my dark orfices.

When I woke up, it was gone.

Statistics say that every human eats an average of two spiders in their sleep.