My morning crew was working freight. I came across an empty package for a scented disc thingie that we used to sell - ages ago. It was crammed behind a shelf in such a way that it could only have been a theft. I showed it to Jeremy.
Jeremy: Who would want to steal such a thing?
Jeremy: I mean, they would have to had to stick it in their pants after they stole it!
Me: Ha, and walked around with it down their pants.
Jeremy: Can you imagine what that person would be like? Like, if it was Terry?
Me: Ha ha, SMELL! *points to crotch*
Thankfully, the woman seemed to not hear or notice what I was doing. I could just imagine what would have happened if she walked away, offended, and asked the cashier up front to call up the manager on duty... and saw me come up to answer that call.