I leave for work at 530am, sometimes 630am, for work, depending upon when I start (6 or 7). Either way, it's pitch black outside when I leave. There is a gap in the fence behind our apartment complex. If I cut through this gap, I effectively shave ten minutes off of my half hour walk to work.
This short cut has been completely uneventful, except for the one morning when I rounded the corner of the last apartment at 530 am and saw a man standing in the dark. He was outside smoking - we both peed our pants in fright (figuratively speaking, of course).
About a week ago, each morning I would make the cut through the fence, I felt a single tendril of spider web hit my forehead. As it was a single tendril and not a giant net, I never thought much of it. Each day I would walk through a single tendril - eventually raising my arm up in front of me so that it would hit that instead of my head.
A couple of days ago, I had to walk home. As it was 3pm, I got to finally see what I was walking through each and every morning...
The single tendril.... that connected a giant, thick spider web across the gap, with a yellow hexagonal spider the size of a nickel sitting smack dab in the middle. If I had walked just an inch or two to the left, I would have walked straight through and slapped the center of the thing right on my freaking forehead.
EW. FREAKING .... EW.
I was on the phone with my brother yesterday during my walk home from work. Being a pedestrian, too, he frequently uses The Secret Entrance. I asked if the spider was still there, he said no. I snuck through, and - sure enough - the spider was gone.
This morning rolls around and I leave for work. I'm already running superbly late. I take The Secret Entrance and SMACK! Get a giant, solid spider web right in the center of my face.
Not wanting to squeal and wake the neighborhood, I proceeded to silently run down the sidewalk, arms flailing and slapping all around me.
And that's just how my day STARTED.