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It means victory, triumph, a jubilation.

The last week has been beyond stressful.

Sunday, I received a call from Mom begging me to come over. I could barely understand her and she was in a panic, so my brother, Daniel, and I headed over. She was having severe floppy tremors (to where she couldn't hold anything) and hadn't eaten, drank, or eliminated a thing for three days. She also couldn't stand and hadn't left her bed during that time.

My brother and I insisted that she go to the hospital. She didn't feel she needed to go, but we gave her zero choice.

Monday, they inform us that she has severe pneumonia and critically high amounts of potassium. I get her to eat a teensy bit of food (which in total of all the food she had eaten maybe totaled 500 calories over five days), we hug her and tell her goodnight.

Tuesday, I get a call from the hospital. Mom has too much carbon dioxide in her blood, is not producing urine, and will be moved into the ICU and intibated. My brother heads down and is immediately informed that it's serious enough that I really should be there, too. We get in, they tell us that she's critically ill and that there's sooooo many things wrong with her (congestive heart failure, leg ulcers that haven't been taken very good care of, the pneumonia, an alarming amount of water in her body) that she has about a 50% survival chance.

Yesterday, they call me and tell me that since Mom can't make decisions for herself while she's sedated and intibated that it's all up to me. (No pressure.) She is also in acute renal failure (kidneys). They went over a couple of proceedures they wanted to do, one involving kidneys and one involving putting a tube in a vein in the neck to measure the amount of fluid in the body that could potentially damage the lungs. Because we never had The Conversation with Mom regarding what lengths she would like us to go to, I tell them to do everything they can. Jess goes down there but leaves immediately, as there's nothing more to do but wait.

I called this morning for an update. They said that she's breathing muuuuch better on the ventilator and is producing a teensy bit more urine, but they will know more after morning rounds are done.


It's been rough. I'm actually in decent spirits for the first time in daaays today... maybe that has something to do with the fact I actually had ten hours of sound sleep? The nights before had been spent with nightmares and other issues.

Work has offered me as much time off as I need in order to deal with stuff. I went to work yesterday, just so that I could go through the motions of SOMEthing. I was only sitting here and thinking and waiting, afterall. I spent only four hours there - it felt like sixteen - and I accomplished almost nothing. I finally just clocked out and came home. My shift is covered for today and I have tomorrow off, so the soonest I'll have to return is Saturday at 1 pm.

What truly amazes me is the amount of people coming out of the woodwork to express their love and concern. People we haven't heard from in yeeears. The largest offers of help and emotional support have come from sources we expected least - from friends we see only a couple of times a year, from random coworkers, from all of YOU. We've had multiple calls and statements from friends saying that their entire churches are praying for us (Jess and I consider ourselves spiritual people, but not necessarily Christians). We've even received calls from people we do not know, expressing their hopes and offers of help.

So thank you all so much. It absolutely means the world.


( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:17 pm (UTC)
**hugs to you **

I didn't know that your Mom was so ill. I hope she is able to make a complete turn around and recover swiftly.
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
I don't think any of us knew that she was that ill. Makes me shudder to think of what would have happened if we would have caved in to her request to NOT go to the hospital.
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:28 pm (UTC)
Hugs. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you, sir.
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:33 pm (UTC)
I've known your mom has been in a rocky state of health for some time now, but had no idea she'd taken such a turn. Please let me know if there's anything i can do, even if it's just playing chauffeur
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:35 pm (UTC)
You, sir, are a wonderful individual. Chauffeurs would probably be what we would need most. My brother and I have been relying on the bus system so far, which is good until the time of night when they stop running.

Mar. 12th, 2009 07:40 pm (UTC)
What hospital is she at?
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:42 pm (UTC)
Mar. 12th, 2009 08:07 pm (UTC)
LJ just ate my reply. anyway that's between your place and mine, just shoot me a text when you need me. if it's after like 9 or 10 you might want to call just in case I've fallen asleep or something.
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:39 pm (UTC)
Oh man, that's rough. I'm so glad mom is doing better. Hopefully she'll be ok enough to go home soon.

Just remember to take care of yourself!

I wish I lived closer so I could do something more for you. For now though, *HUGS*
Mar. 12th, 2009 07:58 pm (UTC)
Aubrey, know that my thoughts are with you and your family during this time. I hope that she continues to improve.

Edited at 2009-03-12 07:59 pm (UTC)
Mar. 12th, 2009 08:01 pm (UTC)
Mar. 12th, 2009 09:50 pm (UTC)
aw..I hope things turn out OK...
Mar. 12th, 2009 10:01 pm (UTC)
Shit, Aub. What a heavy load. I'm glad you got some rest, and that you've got all sorts of support.

Hoping she gets better very soon.
Mar. 12th, 2009 11:17 pm (UTC)
*more hugs*

Some additional words of advice, fwiw:

+1 on taking care of yourself. It becomes easy to neglect one's self taking care of family. (Watched mom and other relatives go through that with my aunt- it was not pretty.)

Your work is obeying the FMLA- they can give you (unpaid) time off, but they CANNOT fire you while you are out. Plus, only a heartless cruel bastard of a boss would give you static over taking care of your mom, and from what I've read in your journal about your boss, he's anything but.
Mar. 12th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC)
Very much true. I also have three weeks of paid vacation, so that's helpful.
Mar. 13th, 2009 02:14 am (UTC)
Mar. 13th, 2009 02:20 am (UTC)
*grabs the cattle prod and slaps the "loose tauren" Big Red Button before bolting out the door, alarms blaring.
Mar. 13th, 2009 01:19 am (UTC)
Sending all my best to you and your Mom.. be well you both!
Mar. 13th, 2009 02:32 am (UTC)
Something like this really gets people's attention. I had a zillion comments on my entry about my grandfather passing, lots of random text messages too.

It's..odd kind of. But I understand it too.
Mar. 13th, 2009 04:33 am (UTC)

You all are still in my thoughts.
Mar. 13th, 2009 05:23 am (UTC)
Many many MANY healing thoughts heading your Mums way, you hang in there sweetie, stay strong.

Mar. 13th, 2009 06:39 am (UTC)
Oh gosh Aubrey, I'm so sorry for everything you are dealing with. I have been wondering what's going on with your mom since the post where she kept putting off going to the doctor. *hugs*
Mar. 13th, 2009 09:44 pm (UTC)
My best wishes to you, your mom, and your family. I've been through this myself and I know how hard it is.

She'll be okay. With family like you to watch out for her and help her pull through, how could she not be?
Mar. 14th, 2009 10:22 am (UTC)
(HUG) My thoughts are with you.
Mar. 15th, 2009 04:44 am (UTC)

Im sorry you are going through this right now. your mom will be in my prayers. I hope she gets well
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )


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